Decision
by Kei Jones
Summary: So get this my fiance just accused me of cheating. With who? Jacob Black. Sure we had a thing but at the time it wasn't even cheating. - My first non-wolf Blackwater story.
1. A Friend

A Friend

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters because then I'd be grossed out that I was dreaming of Edward Cullen before total hottie Jacob Black. XD**

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I've had to put up with a lot of things in my life. You know the usual things that can aggravate or frustrate a person. Like your little brother trying to read your diary. Mom's gossip about your social life or lack thereof. Said little brother's friends trying to peep in on you when you're in the shower. Dad giving me the birds and the bees chat because due to some strange fluke of work schedules Mom has already given it to said little brother and by default it falls on Dad to give 'the talk'. But, _this_ that has just occurred with my fiancé, Samuel Uley, is just too much. He comes storming in demanding to know what is going on. First of all, no one doesn't just come storming in anywhere I'm at. He needs to storm to the door, stop, check his self, breath and _then_ bring his sorry ass through the door. Secondly, he knows he should greet me with a 'hey, hun, how's it going?' or how about, 'baby, how was your day? Guess what stupid rumor _I_ heard.' Instead I get…

"_Leah what the hell do you think you're doing?" Sam demands bursting through the door as I'm actually in the kitchen making pot roast, _his_ favorite._

"_Well a fine how do you do yourself, jackass." I snap angrily having already lost my chipper mood which prompted me to even bother making said pot roast that is piping hot. "What the _fuck_ is your problem, Sam?" I snarl slamming the oven door shut and dropping my oven mitts._

"_Are you fucking Jacob Black again?" He huffs out angrily and I freeze. Jacob Black? I haven't spoken to Jacob in months._

"_No, why should I be? Are you and Emily playing_ house _again?" I ask eyeing the hot pot roast. I should throw this in his face and watch him cry out in pain as it burns his face. I mean where the hell did all of this come from?_

"_No! I'm not even talking to Emily but you," Sam begins but I cut him off._

"_Haven't spoken to Jacob in months. And no I didn't just _fuck_ him then either." I answer glaring at him. "Where did this all come from?"_

"_Uh…well, Paul, said," And that is where I've heard enough. That jackass, Paul Meraz, is such a gossiper. He's been the thorn in our relationship since high school._

"_Paul said, huh? How many times have _I_ told you not to listen to Paul? One time too damn many. Look, I'm going for a walk. Enjoy your damn pot roast and I'll _maybe_ talk to you later." I snap grabbing a sweater and my purse heading towards the door._

"_Lee-Lee, baby wait." Sam calls but I don't stop and get into my car and drive off. _

I can't believe the nerve of him and Paul. That was three days ago and I'm still fuming over it. Sam has tried to call me but right now I'm not in the mood to deal with him and his lame, sorry ass excuses. Honestly, this whole mess started over a year ago after a bonfire. Somehow or other Sam wound up screwing my cousin, Emily, thus causing me to leave him and her trying to pull themselves back together. I stayed at home for a couple of months during that time and in turn ended up having a couple of some really great nights with Jacob Black. Sam found out which isn't unheard of on such a small reservation. But, getting back with Sam after Jacob was just so hard to do. The sex was just…wow, unbelievable. The problem being was that it was just sex between us. We were both going through a bad moment in each of our relationships and had some 'stress' that needed some relieving.

But I had started developing feelings for Jake during those two months but then and even now I can't see myself and don't want to see myself basing an entire relationship around sex. Jake is a really great guy and friend. He went to college and came out with a psychological degree. He counsels people with drug and alcohol problems. He's even the counselor kids at tribal school. He was always good for advice even as a kid; which is probably why I'm heading over there now. Just need some advice is all, right? Absolutely.

At least so I tell myself over and over as I head towards the small red house just off the main street. Jake is still living at home which makes sense because Billy still needs help around the house. I walk up to the front door and knock patiently waiting for the door to open. The door opens and I smile brightly at Billy who has a huge grin on his face. "Well, if it isn't lil' Leah Clearwater." Billy says teasingly as I step in giving him a quick hug and a kiss.

"I'm not so lil' anymore, Billy." I state standing up straight earning a chuckle for my efforts.

"Well, maybe not in height but you'll always be lil' to this ol' man." He says shaking his head as I follow him in the house. I look around happy to see everything still in order. "So come to bring us some good news?" Billy asks snapping me out of my inspection. My eyebrow rises in questioning as I look at him because I have no idea what news he could be expecting. "That you're done with that Samuel boy and ready to make me some grandchildren with Jake?" Billy asks hopefully and I blush slowly shaking my head.

"No, Billy." I answer as his smile falls and I frown. I can only guess Jake never bothered to tell him that we were strictly in a FWB relationship.

"He loves you, you know that, right?" Billy states causing me to stiffen. "Just a reminder." Billy adds quickly continuing on as he reaches down for a bag. "Well, Jake's in the garage tinkering with something and if you don't mind sitting around with me waiting on Charlie then I'll see you around, Darling." Just as I'm about to speak up there's a knock on the door behind me and I open it up to none other than Charlie Swan.

"Heya, Lee." Charlie greets as I give him a hug. "How's things going?" Charlie asks cautiously and I can't help but smile at his anxiety. His daughter, Bella, dated Jacob but during their brief hiatus was when my fling with Jake started. Needless to say, she much like Sam was very disappointed that their significant other found someone else. So while Sam had Emily, Bella had Edward they, I suppose somewhere in their minds, figured Jake and I were supposed to sit up somewhere crying and mourning them until they felt ready to come back.

"How's Bella?" I ask and I frown when I see him turn beet red. "Oh, I, I'm sorry." I quickly apologize. Since my own business became Rez gossip I stayed away from any and all gossip. Honestly, the last I heard was that Bella and Jake were still dating but not exclusively – guess things changed.

"Nah, that's alright, Lee. You didn't know." Charlie quickly excuses seeing the genuinely apologetic look on my face. Waving the boys off I head towards Jake garage with my heart pounding. He wasn't attached to her anymore…was my coming a bad idea? Any doubts I have disappear the moment I step over the threshold and see his feet hanging out the bottom of an old Ford pickup.

I clear my throat to get his attention and try to fight back the enthusiasm that is building at seeing him after so long. He rolls out from under the truck with a frown – a clear sign he's expecting someone either with bad news about the truck or someone he just doesn't care for. But, his eyes light up the moment he sees me. "Lee." He greets excitedly jumping up. Despite my original coaching I can't help but run up and jump into his arms hugging him tightly. I've missed him so much. "Heh, I've missed you too, baby." He whispers wrapping his arms around me awkwardly, not wanting to get oil and grime on my clothes and holding me just as tightly. I can't believe how much I've missed him, his scent, his warmth, his voice, his whole being. I'm not sure how long we are holding one another but, let me tell you, it's not long enough before we eventually pull apart.

"How are you?" I ask sighing as he gently kisses my forehead. Did I mention missing his kisses? If not, I've really missed his simple little kisses and the hot and heavy, passionate ones too. But mostly these sweet ones.

"Eh, can't complain much." He answers with a shrug walking away from me but coming back with another roller for me. "Care to join me? Or do not want to get your lil' dress dirty?" I frown looking down at my outfit not seeing what's so special about it. It's just a simple flower print dress – nothing special. "You're over analyzing." He says laughing and slides back under the truck. With a roll of my eyes I lay down and slide underneath with him.

For some reason something like this has just become _our_ thing. Before our FWB I'd help him with whatever piece of metal he was working on and we'd talk for hours about anything and everything. It seemed to stem from when we had psychology courses together. But, I think it was really so we could be as close to one another as possible without too many questions being asked.

"So…Sam did what now?" Jake asks snapping me out of my thoughts.

"Accused me of cheating with you…again." I answer watching closely as he's tightening or loosening something.

"Again? Oh…because you two never officially broke up thus making you the last person to cheat." Jake answers as if it was simply common sense but I hear the hint of sarcasm in his voice.

"I suppose."

"Which is strange because this is the first time I've seen you in uh…2 months, 14 days and some odd amount of hours." He throws out casually.

"Not that you're counting, right?" I tease but he stops working and his brow furrows. "5 hours." I answer after looking at my watch.

"So did you leave him or are you just taking a break?" Jake asks getting back to work and I can hear the disappointment in his voice.

"Break."

"And you came to me wondering how and where Sam might've gotten the idea that we were meeting again but behind his back this time." I sigh and nod my head as he gives me a quick glance. "So was it my dear, loving brother-in-law, Paul?"

"Ding-ding-ding!"

"That ass-face." Jake grumbles out. _And that_ is why I love this man.

"Exactly!" I reiterate nodding my head quickly.

"Embry asked about 'us' when Paul and Rachel were over visiting Dad." Jake answers finishing the job and sliding out from underneath the body. I follow behind him as he starts working on something under the hood.

"What about?" I ask trying to get a good look at his facial expression.

"Uh…if, I'd seen you lately." He mumbles and asks me to hand him a tool. I do as I'm told and wait for him to continue. "I told him, yea, in passing and that I thought you looked good. Actually, I said, "She's looks so fucking hot" which of course went from there." I nod my head knowing how Quil and Embry can be especially together and with Paul snooping around.

"When did you see me?" I ask curious how I could've missed seeing him while out or more like why he didn't say anything.

"You were at the grocery store, a few weeks ago, and Sam was with you." Jake admits with a sigh. "As much as _you_ would've looked forward to our little reunion; I doubt he would've been quite so pleased to see us hug." I nod my head in understanding because since Sam and I got back together it became his job to keep me and any Black relative (sans Paul) away from one another. It sometimes acted as if there was some huge conspiracy between Billy and Rachel to get the two of us together.

"Well…just so you know. Next time _you_ say something Dr. Jake and let me handle Sam." Jake doesn't say anything but continues working on the truck. To pass the time I play my favorite immature and childish game of 'what's dat?' while touching said object. The game continued on for quite a while as I'd quickly point at something and drawl out in a high pitched voiced, 'what's dat?' and he'd with restrained patience answer me and pull my hand away.

"Alright, you're bored, Lee, I get it." Jake snaps snatching my hand causing me to giggle. 32-minutes a new record. There's just something so funny about seeing a psych grad lose his cool.

"What's dat?" I ask pointing at his furrowed brow and leave a streak of grime going right down the middle. He presses his lips together and hangs his head sighing as I giggle.

"Did you just get dirt on my face?" He demands and I can see the smile that he's fighting to hide peak a little.

"Maybe." I drawl out batting my eyelashes.

"Well what's dat?" Jake asks smearing some grime on my cheek. "And dat?" He throws out before I can open my mouth poking my shoulder. "And dat?" He pokes my belly causing me to giggle and squirm. From there a 'what's dat' smear dirt and tickle game erupts. I'm not sure how long we're playing but suddenly there's a loud crack of thunder that startles me and I notice the rain is pouring down outside. When I turn my attention back to Jake I realize that we're both dirty, sweaty and I'm sandwiched between the truck and Jake.

"I should," I begin but Jake slowly shakes his head leaning in closer to me. Following his head I mimic his action by shaking my own head 'no' which pleases him.

"_I_ think you should stay longer." Jake whispers as our lips are only inches a part but slowly closing in. His warm breath feels so good against my face and somewhere deep down in the back of my brain is something – a little nagging sensation telling me not to…what? You have to speak up louder little voice. "So fucking beautiful." Jake whispers before finally closing the gap and capturing my lips. I quickly melt into the kiss allowing Jake's tongue to slide into my mouth and caress and explore my mouth. I wrap my arms around his neck and bury my hands in his hair wanting more of him – it's been so long. I moan as his hands touch and massage as much of my body as it can reach.

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A/N: This idea just hit me last week at work and so I typed it up and that was it. And so since I typed it at work and figured just upload it on and then save it at home. Well my lazy ass didn't do that and after PMing so many people realized that you know what...I should just post the damn thing. Sorry about the language but you ever have just one of those days where you just have to be upfront and candid? If I do it here less likely I'll do it on the phone or with supervisors around. But, I'm planning on typing either the next chapter of this tonight or finish up another story idea once I flesh it out.

But on a much lighter note guess who's on Twitter. ^-^ Yea, so if you want to follow me and find out what the youngest Team Jacob fan (my 2-yr old niece in case you didn't know) is up to then check it out. Anyone good with backgrounds? I suck at it and would love just a Jacob/Paul/Embry/Leah background for my Twitter page. *bats eyelashes* It'd be really sweet. I know those of you who read and don't post. How about that as a thank you?!

But again thanks to everyone who also told me in another story who'd they choose between Taylor and The Rock. *nods head* Always nice to know who my competition is. *points at eyes and then you* Yea, and just so you know I've nearly knocked over my (then) boyfriend 'cuz I thought he was at a mall in Miami, FL. Now just to let you know at 5'2 1/2" and over 140+ that is quite a feat because he was like a solid wall.

But...I've been saying that a lot lately. Let's try it again...

Anywho (excellent), read and review and tell me what you think. And be forewarned there will be lemons! And probably some angst...*nods head* most likely some angst. So keep an eye out for either an update or a new post. TTFN! ^-^


	2. A Friend With Needs

A Friend With Needs

**Disclaimer: I do not own the Twilight characters but do feel that the wolves by far the most entertaining and interesting characters in the entire series. Mainly because they all had different personalities, humour and so human. How do you lose your emotions as a vampire, anyway? You don't forget. You may not be able to cry but I mean, seriously? Do you have to stand stock still? Do you have to insomiac-stalk whiny, pretentious, manipulative little bitches who should've been crushed by a van that day at school? Because then Jacob would've hooked up with Leah and BAM! Blackwater babies because the other vamps would've moved on and no one else would've phased. _That's_ my idea of a happy ending. *narrows eyes* Hate you, Bella. Hate you. oO? And this has to be the longest disclaimer ever...**

A/N: How do you lose your emotions as a vampire, anyway? You don't forget. You may not be able to cry but I mean, seriously? Do you have to stand stock still? Do you have to insomiac-stalk whiny, pretentious, manipulative little bitches who should've been crushed by a van that day at school? Because then Jacob would've hooked up with Leah and BAM! Blackwater babies because the other vamps would've moved on and no one else would've phased. _That's_ my idea of a happy ending. *narrows eyes* Hate you, Bella. Hate you. ^-^ That's better. LOL.

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I moan softly into our kiss as his hand gently caresses my cheek. Just something about the way his calloused hands touching me with varying degrees from light, gentle and barely there to rough and heavy. He pulls back just enough to allow us both a chance to breathe but our noses are still touching. I lean up and kiss his lips again lightly – I've missed this, _us_. But…and my train of thought is derailed as Jacob traces my jaw line with his nose. His breath feels so good against my skin and I bite my bottom lip as he plants a light kiss on my neck, followed by another and another and another.

I feel the fire inside my stomach slowly begin to grow. How he's able to do this with just a kiss floors me. I allow my hands to slide down from around his neck and gripping the front of his shirt tightly. He chuckles as I pull his body close to mine. "Not close enough, Lee?" He questions wrapping his arms around my waist and pulling me closer to him finishing the gap between us.

"Never close enough." I breathe out running my hands up and down his muscular arms.

"Well, if I recall, correctly, we have been _close_ enough." Jacob states causing me to gasp as he thrusts his hips into me. I blush at the feeling of his erection poking into me. He's right – he's always right. We have been closer. So close that we've become one. Not just in 'the key fits in the lock' but connected as one, a sense of wholeness. It's that 'this is so right' kind of feeling. I nod my head in agreement. "We can be there again," Jacob says his hands sliding down to grip my ass earning another gasp and hoisting me up. "Lee." He finishes as I wrap my legs around his waist.

We grind against one another as our need for each other grows. Our lips connect in a heat searing kiss and I feel the heat between my legs as Jacob continues moving into me, in a way that only _he_ knows how. "Shi, Jake." I gasp out before biting his shoulder and that was his last straw. Jacob growls and he pulls my dress up over my head. My breathing quickens as I push Jacob's shirt up wanting all barriers between us gone. He leans back pulling his shirt off and I can feel myself get wet just seeing his chest and wonderful abs. I don't know how but he has an 8-pack – a glorious, wonderful, beautiful, and heart pounding 8-pack!

"Like baby?" He questions obviously catching me admiring his body. Chuckling he begins kissing down my neck the valley of my breasts.

"Very much so." I moan out as he nips at the tops of my breasts. One of his hands skillfully unfastens my bra freeing my breasts. I look up at him surprised as he lets me down and steps away from me. I'm now finally able to stop and take stock of my situation. I'm standing before Jacob Black in nothing but my panties, leaning against a truck in his garage on a downpour of a day. And there again is that small nagging voice saying, 'don't do,'

"Sorry, just wanted to enjoy the view for a moment." Jacob says interrupting my train of thought – again. I bite my bottom lip again as he begins to undo his belt and unfasten his pants. Unable to hold back I walk towards him grabbing his front belt loops and pulling back towards me. My hands move around and slip into his back pockets as I kiss his chest. He groans angrily realizing my motive – a condom. He doesn't have one? "Shit." He curses holding me tightly fearing 'no glove, no love'. "Turn around." He orders and I frown at him. "Trust me. Turn. Around." He orders again and the look he gives is so fuckin' hot that I do as I'm told. I turn around and he plants hungry kisses on my neck and massages my breasts. "Open the door." And I move towards the truck following his commands. "Look in the ashtray." I lean forward reaching for the ashtray earning a deep groan from Jacob as I bend over. I gasp and feel my juices slide down my inner thighs as Jacob quickly removes my panties and his pants in the process. The man is fast because I feel his erection rubbing against my wet pussy.

He feels so good and I arch my back, raising my ass for easier access. He quietly curses under his breath as he bites my shoulder enjoying the feel. "The ashtray, babe." He groans out bringing me down to cloud five – at least enough to remember the task at hand. I reach in and pull out some condoms. "Good girl." He congratulates me as I hand them back. The warmth of Jacob is gone as he slips on the condom.

I shiver with anticipation as his hands run across my ass before settling on my hips. I want him so bad right now that it's painful. "Jake, please." I moan heavily now needing to feel him.

"Don't worry, baby." He says placing his head at my entrance with his voice sounding so deep, husky and just sexy. "I need you too." Jacob says repeating my own thoughts. He leans down and kisses my shoulder blade as he slides deep inside of me. He fills me immediately and feels so good. My body feels so sensitive with my breasts and stomach lying on the cold, rough leather interior of the truck's seat with Jacob's hot, smooth body on top of me.

He begins moving inside building up a wonderful friction that has me moaning his name. Jacob's right hand holds my hip in place while his left holds up the majority of his weight. He bites my shoulder, again, thrusting harder inside of me. His warm breath on the back of my neck sends a shiver down my spine. I look back over my shoulder and he captures my lips in a passionate kiss. Our tongues caress and battle for the sake of having that personal connection. I give in allowing his tongue into my mouth but turn and suck on it.

"Harder, Jake." I beg when we break our kiss for oxygen pushing back into him. He leans back with a sexy ass smirk on his kiss swollen lips. His hands knead my ass as he continues sliding in and out of me.

"What was that, Lee?" He questions stopping his movements but still buried inside of me.

"Harder." I breathe out pushing back into him, or rather trying to as his hands prevent me from going any further.

"Speak up." He orders sliding out to just the tip.

"Harder, Jake." I plead a bit louder looking back at him giving him my most potent baby girl pout and doe eyes. He can't possibly resist that combination.

"Ask me again." He orders giving my ass a good hard spank. I hiss at the sensation and get wetter. "Well? What?" Jacob growls out spanking my ass cheek again. "Tell me what you want me to do to you." Jacob orders again while thrusting deep inside me.

"Ahh – fuck me, Jake." I cry out as he chuckles holding my hips tightly.

"Ata girl." He says and quickens his pace. It is such a delicious feeling that I find myself unable to hold out against the building pressure as Jake continues pounding into me. My orgasm hits me as I feel my walls clench tightly around his penis and my juices run down my thighs. Jake continues riding through my release and just as the first is ending I feel my second coming already.

Jake quickly pulls out and flips me over on my back. I open my arms and he leans down hugging me tightly as he buries his face into the crook of my neck. He kisses my neck and then my lips tenderly, lovingly. Our eyes lock onto one another and I feel as if he truly see for who I am – not who my parents see, Seth, my friends, no even – hello train derailment. Jake slides deep inside me again with slow, hard thrusts. His hand gently strokes my thigh as my hips move up meet his. Our moans and gasps tell the story of our passion for one another as our bodies become one.

He's taking his time with me and I don't mind. When he's meticulous like this making sure he hits my button every time it's easy for me to imagine that he truly loves me. His eyes close and I know he's close to his own release and I kiss him while wrapping both of my legs around his waist. Jake moans as he finds himself locked in me thus causes my body to react as my hips buck, my back arches and I tighten around him. He whispers my name softly as his hand moves down my stomach and he massages my clit. I feel another release coming as Jake finds his and our foreheads touch as we both ride our orgasm together. As we both calm down he smiles at me that warm smile that always melts my heart and makes me forget my name. There is still that small nagging feeling in the back of my mind – it's like that 'have I forgotten to do something' nagging. Did I leave the stove on? No. Did I leave something at work? Don't think so. Ah, well, it'll come to me. And with that I get caught up in Jake's soft little kisses – he makes me feel as if we're the only two people in the world.

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A/N: Okay, here goes the 2nd chapter. Sorry for the delay but I really battled over which way Jacob and Leah's first meeting after such a long time was going to play out. For some reason this just kept coming to me and despite my reasoning (logical, mind you) this just seemed more realistic. Sometimes hormones with that right person can get the better of you and all is forgotten. *shakes fist* Damn you, hormones. Damn you. But go ahead and be honest about how you feel about the chapter – outside of whether or not you enjoy the lemon. ^-^ So there you go and yes there will be more drama because life is never as simple as finding the right guy, dumping the wrong guy and living happily ever after with aforementioned right guy, am I right?


	3. Reality Bites

Reality Bites

**Disclaimer: I do not any of the characters.**

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Have you ever found yourself experiencing a 'perfect moment'? Perfect as defined by Webster's Dictionary is 1) being entirely without fault or defect; flawless; satisfying all requirements; corresponding to an ideal standard or abstract concept; 2) lacking in no essential detail. Moment is defined as 1) a minute portion or point of time; a comparatively brief period of time; 2) a time of excellence or conspicuousness; 3) importance in influence or effect. Right now I am experiencing a 'perfect moment' just sitting here on the floor of Jacob's garage wrapped up in a blanket. With his arm secure around my waist holding me close as we both sit quietly watching the rain fall outside. I'm not sure how long I've been here and, honestly, I don't care – I could just stay right here forever. Although living in the garage does seem kind of a stretch but I know we'd get by. Jacob leans over and kisses my forehead lightly as I, can't help but sigh contently as I lean into him more and kiss him back.

"I think it's time that we got a shower." Jacob says against my lips and I pull back looking at him. Chuckling he leans back with his arms open and I notice his chest is covered in dirt from my hands. "You're worse off." Jacob says smiling at me smugly and I look down to see I'm in the same condition. His streaked fingers and hand prints cover most, if not all of my body. My chest, my arms, my thighs, my legs; standing up and looking behind me even my ass. Looking back over at Jacob I notice him looking me over proudly; impressed by the proof of our actions from not too long ago. I will admit being able to see all of the places that Jacob has touched, stroked, grabbed and rubbed is a complete turn on. Stretching out my sore muscles I look on as Jacob grabs his jeans putting them on – he's got a great ass. And suddenly a thought hits me; it's completely ridiculous and childish but I can't help but laugh to myself at the thought. "We're going to have to get this washed." Jacob says holding up my dress up.

"Yea, suppose I will." I agree nodding my head. I slowly walk towards Jacob, my hips swaying, ready to take my dress when I notice this look in his eyes. I bite my bottom lip and stop a few feet away from him. It's the same look that he gives right before he suddenly has me screaming out his name begging for more. "Like what you see?" I ask smirking at him as I turn around slowly as his eyes drink in my body.

"Always do." He states licking his lips. "It's hot seeing where I've touched you." He whispers and I stop my spin. "But…I think I may have missed some spots." He says with a frown as he takes a step forward. I jump back from him holding back a giggle – I do too much giggling around this man. "Lee." Jacob says in a playful scolding manner.

"Yes?" I drawl out unable to hide my smile. There's just something about Jacob that just turns me into a giggling, playful girl again. I don't always have to be mature, calm and serious around him; I can just be me. Jacob quickly reaches out trying to snatch at me and I jump back laughing. And you guessed it we're playing a brief game of cat n' mouse in his tiny garage with the rain coming down outside. Our laughter and play fills the garage to the point that I feel delirious with the sense of…joy? I guess that's a pretty close enough description but I'm just so happy.

"Well looks like you've run out of places to run now." Jacob says triumphantly as he has me blocked at the opening of the garage. Damn, his long arms giving him this great reach; I only curse them when I sense I'm going to lose to him. "Guess you better give it up, Clearwater, and let me finish touching you."

"You perv." I laugh out as he shrugs his shoulders not disagreeing with the statement. "But you're wrong." I state matter-of-factly smiling at him evilly.

"Wrong about wha," And I take off running into the rain heading towards the house. I look back over my shoulder to see a stunned Jacob Black watching me streak across his backyard and I laugh at his expression. He quickly overcomes his shock and he takes off after me. "AH!" I'm fast but with his long legs and the fact that I have to hold my boobs as I run to keep the pain to a minimal he quickly catches me. Easily picking me up with his arm he runs towards the backdoor with me laughing like an idiot the whole way. "You, Leah Clearwater, are a complete nut." Jacob says laughing as he sets my feet down on the floor in the kitchen.

"I must always have the element of surprise." I declare trying to control my breathing but still laughing.

"You're definitely full of surprises." Jacob states as he wraps his arms around me in a tight bear hug. "Now get your ass to the shower while I mop this mess up and put your dress in the washer." Jacob orders and gives my ass a good slap. Giggling I nod my head and head down the hall to the bathroom grabbing a towel along the way. I freeze when I look into the closet and notice my favorite shampoo sitting on the shelf in the same spot I left it months and months ago. Smiling weakly I suddenly feel a wave of guilt wash over me. The realization that the last time _we_ actually had sex was over six months ago. And the reason why it's been so long was because I got back together with Sam. Shit, goddamn motherfucking hormones. I continue to the bathroom trying to process exactly what has occurred and why. I had sex with Jacob Black in his garage and, most likely, was getting ready to have sex, again, in the shower. Turning on the water I step into the shower with a deep sigh. This isn't how my life was supposed to be; this isn't how my visit with Jacob was supposed to go. Sam and Bella were the dirty, lying cheaters in our relationships; not us. We were the ones in the relationship that would never cheat no matter what; _I_ was supposed to be the better person between Sam, Emily and I. Now? Now I was nothing more than a cheating whore – even worse I cheated on not just my boyfriend but my fiancé; the man I promised to marry and share the rest of my life with.

"Reality bites." I mumble to myself letting the hot water wash over my face; maybe it'll wash away my guilt or at least the memory – but of what?

"You okay." Jacob whispers as I slowly turn around to see him standing looking at me. One look into his eyes and I see the sadness at my realization of our _real_ situation.

"No, Jacob, I'm not okay." I state turning away and hanging my head low.

"I don't regret it." Jacob states and I only dryly chuckle. Truth is I don't regret it either. Being with Jacob is absolutely the most wonderful feeling in the world. I've not forgotten about our 'perfect moment' back in the garage. Actually, I really wish we hadn't left the garage; it's a whole different world there. "You don't either, right?" Jacob asks and I nod my head in agreement as I feel him step into the shower pressing his body against mine. "Say it, Lee. Admit it out loud." Jacob demands his hands holding my hips in place and his warm breath caressing my neck.

"I don't regret it." I admit softly. "But it still doesn't make what we did right." I add shaking my head. I know I'm in a bad situation; I see it as if it was a barreling train and I'm standing on the railroad tracks. I should push Jacob away, tell him to get out the shower with me, yell at him for baiting me the way he did, for being so fucking hot and taking advantage of my vulnerability when I only came to see him and wanted him to make me…feel…better? Jacob's hands begin to move slowly up my sides and I know he's trying to gauge my reaction. He knows how I want to feel and probably should feel but for some reason I'm not. In fact, I'm certain he knows exactly why I'm not reacting and is just waiting for me to acknowledge it. He moans heavily as his hands move up and squeeze my breasts eliciting a soft moan from my lips.

"It's not right, Lee." Jacob whispers harshly bringing my brain back down to a hint of rational thinking. "But _this_, what we have between us feels too good to just let it go, right?" I slowly nod my head bringing my left arm up to wrap around his neck as my body cries out for his. Damn you hormones. All I want is to just kiss him, touch him, be with him – the thought of another six months without him seems unbearable. But…I know that if I marry Sam it won't just be just _six months_…it'll be forever. Forever? Can I do it; not sleep with Jacob anymore? I did it for six-months, right? Sure, it was horrible and…but Sam. Alright girls listen up. This is it! This will be our last romp with Jacob Ephraim Black and then that's it; cold turkey. I tell myself giving into Jacob's caresses and kisses. I kiss him deeply exploring his mouth wanting to memorize it as my hands move all over his body – I want to memorize every inch of this man.

"Jacob." I breathe out as we break our kiss for air and he shakes his head.

"Let's wash some of this dirt off first." Jacob states and I can hear the smile in his voice even though my eyes are closed. He reaches over and picking up the soap begins to lather up his hands before rubbing them over my body. I do the same and we quietly wash each other allowing soft kisses in between. I don't even bother fighting back a moan as his hands run over my ass before gripping it tightly. My head rolls and I whisper his name. "Not yet." He tells me and gently pushes me back against the wall. I watch as Jacob's left hand travels down my right thigh, down to my knee and lifting my leg up. I feel myself growing wetter as I feel his semi-hard cock press gently into my thigh as he washes my leg. Once he's done with my right leg, his hand moves up my thigh and he brushes past my swollen clit so lightly and quickly that I whimper. Putting my right leg down, he continues and proceeds to wash my left leg.

I run my hands down Jacob's abs to his erection and taking it in my hands and begin stroking him. I feel him getting harder as he leans into me pressing my back against the cool tile wall and his right hand slides down my thigh to my knee, again, lifting it up. I squeeze his cock tighter as his left hand moves to my left leg. He washes my leg his breathing becoming heavy and labored from my attention. Unable to hold back any longer he pulls both my legs up and I immediately wrap them around Jacob's waist. Removing my hand from his cock I lull my head back as Jacob positions himself at my entrance and he slowly slides inside me. I gasp feeling every inch of him filling me up and his warmth is welcomed and gladly accepted as I squeeze him tightly earning a groan. Squeezing my hips he pulls me down further on him until he's balls deep inside of me. I want him to fuck me so bad right now and I beg him to but he only shakes his head. "I'm going to enjoy and savor this." Jacob states as he slowly slides out to his tip and wonderfully, slowly and painfully slides back in.

His actions are slow but forceful and every time he slides out he changes his angle before sliding back inside of me. Hitting new spots that, in our time apart, I had forgotten were there. I feel hot tears roll down my cheeks as I feel my climax slowly building. Jacob quietly comforts me telling me that I don't have to cry that _this_ is okay. Deep down I know I should be angry with him, I should hate him even but I don't – I don't think I'm even capable of it. We call out each others names as his pace picks up and I wrap my arms tightly around his neck pulling his body closer to mine – desperately needing him; a small part of me never wanting to let him go. Feeling my orgasm building Jacob curses and pulls out and quickly fills me with his fingers pumping in and out of me as his thumb massages my clit. My fingernails dig into Jacob's back as he thrusts his cock into my stomach telling me to cum for him. Trying to hold onto this moment, this sensation, I try to shift my hips to draw him away from my g-spot and grab his dick squeezing it tightly. "Fuck, Lee." Jacob hisses as he falls forward and I chuckle as he bumps his head against the wall. In that moment, my orgasm hits me and I feel my knees growing weak as the water suddenly feels cold on my overheated body. "Keep cumming for me, baby." Jacob coaxes me before he grunts shooting his load in my hand. Feeling Jacob cum in my hand and on my stomach is all I need to finish off the second wave that Jacob already had me building up to. He crashes his lips against mine and the kiss is unlike any we've ever shared before; it's desperate, begging almost and craving. For me this is our last kiss good bye – it _has_ to be.

When we break our kiss, both desperately, gasping for air I shiver feeling Jacob's hand lightly wipe down my stomach. My arms are still locked around his neck and I'm afraid to look into his eyes; into those warm dark brown eyes that have always offered me nothing but comfort, trust, friendship and love. I know that if I look into his eyes my resolve to make right my relationship with Sam will fade away; I love Sam Uley, I do. Sam is my high school sweetheart; he's been my first in a lot of ways and even has stood by me when I felt that no one else would. I realize now that Sam had a slight slip in our relationship and I know it was because he was drunk – he made sure to tell me that over and over again. When we broke up he tried to get back with me and when I told him how disappointed, hurt and angry I was with him he sadly told me that I was right in feeling that way; that he never meant to violate and abuse my trust like that. He said that he'd give me some space to think things over and that he'd be waiting for me if I came back to him. True to his word, when I finally spoke to him, after he became angry and frustrated that I was 'seeing' Jacob Black and begged me to come back to him. "Lee." Jacob calls my name snapping me out of my thoughts and I hear the shower turned off. "_This_ isn't all there is between us, you know that, right?" Jacob whispers softly before kissing my forehead.

I swallow the lump in my throat and slowly release my hold around Jacob's neck while his hold only tightens around my waist. I realize that I've made a serious mistake in coming here because no matter what after seeing Jacob I always feel so refreshed and carefree. Even now after I know that I've cheated on my fiancé with my former fuck-buddy; is 'former' even the right word? Well it does tack on the meaning of past and not current or even future. I hear Jacob sigh heavily and return his sigh as he buries his nose into the crook of my neck; the problem is that after sex he's just so damn huggable. I hug him tightly; selfishly enjoying his warmth, presence and comfort that only he can give me. I can't keep doing this – it's not fair to anyone; not me and especially not to him. "Jake, we can't do this again." I whisper and I feel him tense up. "I'm engaged to Sam now."

"Call it off. Give the ring back to him." Jacob states frankly giving me a hard frown. "You don't _have_ to marry him." I sigh heavily listening to him as a warm and heavy towel is wrapped around me.

"In your professional opinion what do you _think_ I should do?" I ask Jacob as we walk down the hall towards his room. The truth is we've had this discussion before when I mentioned to Jacob about getting back with Sam. He was against it but I felt that _our_ arrangement was reaching the end of its run. Jacob doesn't answer me but shuts the door behind us and rubs his face with a heavy sigh. What Jacob _wants_ and what _should_ be considered are two different things; it's the only way I can reason with him. As a psychology major he knows that I should probably work out my relationship with Sam to be sure that he is what I want.

"Leah you can't keep doing this." Jacob says reaching into his closet and pulling out a long t-shirt and tossing it to me. I catch it and sit down on the bed looking at him. "Every relationship is different and this isn't just some textbook answer to where you must _now_ go back to Sam to take away your guilt or because _you_ now suddenly think you understand him and his transgression." Jacob says pulling on a pair of jeans.

"I'm not _just_ getting back with Sam _because_ I just feel guilty." I snap standing up, dropping my towel and throwing on the t-shirt. Okay, so maybe not the best way to go about with my point of only being with Sam ever again. "I'm getting back with Sam because _I_ love _him_."

"_You_ don't love him." Jacob says condescendingly as he leaves the room and I follow behind him. Oh! No, he is not going to tell _me_ how _I_ feel about _my_ fiancé. I don't care if he is working on his Masters in Clinical Psychology – he doesn't _know everything_.

"Where the _hell_ do you get off telling me how I feel about anyone?" I storm down the hall after him.

"I'm not _telling_ you how to feel anything." Jacob says heading to the washer and pulling out my dress and putting it in the dryer.

"Oh, really because that is _exactly_ what it seems like you're doing."

"Lee, I'm not trying to _make_ you believe or think something that isn't true." Jacob says turning around slowly shaking his head. "I just want you to realize that,"

"That what, Jacob? What is it that _I'm_ supposed to suddenly realize?"

"That I love _you_!" Jacob shouts angrily whirling around on me as he slams the dryer door shut. I stand completely shocked and stunned. Neither of us has ever said _that_ word to one another – maybe about each others' body, humor or maybe even my cooking; but never to mean it as a whole. Sure Billy just said it but it's completely different hearing it come from Jacob, himself. Jacob is standing looking at me shocked by his own actions too but his eyes look so sad looking back at me. Is, is he waiting for a response back? What am I supposed to say?

"Jake," I'm able to croak out as my hand absently runs through my hair.

"I love you, Leah." Jacob says again closing the gap between us and taking my hands into his. "I loved you before you went back to Sam." And I shake my head in disbelief.

"No, no you don't." I say fighting back tears as I back away from him. He didn't love me then and he _can't_ love me now. Sam loves me and I love Sam…right? We're just great fuck buddies – that's it and nothing more. I hear Jacob call my name and I turn heading directly for his room. Rummaging through the closet I find an old dress that's been left behind since then.

"Leah, wait, please." Jacob pleads as I slip the dress on over my head and then stomp over to his dresser. My cheeks are soaked with tears as I find a pair of panties – I don't need a bra even though I see one. I never even bothered to collect all of my belongings – they've all just sat here as if waiting for me to slip up this time and come back here.

"Baby, please. Don't leave." Jacob whispers pulling me close to him in a huge hug. I'm crying now because this whole room mocks me and my weakness. Without another word I leave the house with Jacob following behind; he's begging, pleading with me to just come back inside and listen to him. That we just sit down and talk this out. But I get into my car and drive away without bothering to look at him. I _can't_ talk to Jacob Black because then the simplest contact becomes something more. Something that right now I can't deal with – so I run. I run home and can only thank God that there isn't anyone home as I run up to my room and crash on the bed crying my heart out over Jacob Black and his declaration of love. I wish it was true, _I want it to be true_ – but it's not.

* * *

A/N: So I've finally found the right conclusion to this chapter. Sorry it's taken me so long but no matter what I wrote it didn't _feel_ right. But…if there's anyone left reading this fic you know what to do. Read, review and tell me what you think. Even encourage me requesting me to update sooner. ^-^


	4. Reflections

Reflections

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

* * *

Jacob turns with a heavy and sad sigh heading back inside the house. He's angry – correction, he's pissed off but not at Leah. He's pissed off with himself because _this, that_ isn't how things were supposed to play out between them. She had come to him as a friend just wanting to get some things off her chest; laugh, joke, tease and goof off. Instead, he let his hormones and emotions get the better of him. Jacob walks to the dryer and pulls out Leah's dress noticing there are still grease and dirt stains on it – he'll wash it one more time and give it back to her. Maybe he'll be better off having Rachel give it back to her then that way there's no suspicion because they always borrow each other's clothes and Rachel won't ask him why he has Leah's dress.

Sitting down at the kitchen table running a hand roughly over his face he lets his mind wander. He told Leah that he loves her and that he's loved her before their arrangement stopped – which is true. Jacob Black has, in fact, loved Leah Clearwater since they were both in elementary school. She being 2-years older than him meant that she hung around his sisters a lot but they all still played together. It was her kind heart that won him over. Rachel and Rebecca Black were notorious for pulling pranks on their brother and his friends. This particular time was during the twins' 13th birthday party. They had practically invited the entire 5th – 8th grade class to celebrate their 'birthday extravaganza' as Rebecca always put it. There were balloons, cake, games, music, presents and best of all the piñata. Jacob should've known something was up when his sisters offered him the first whack at the piñata but he was so excited to bust it open and get the candy he didn't care or even knock it. Turns out his sisters had a giant balloon full of flour and shaving cream. They gave him a stick with a nail on the end so matter what he'd burst it.

Jacob would never forget the embarrassment of having his friends, classmates, his sisters and the rest of the school laughing at him and pointing. He remember his face burning and his eyes stinging as seemingly everyone is laughing at him – except for one. Leah stands with a small frown on her face and before he can give into the tears she walks up and takes his hand. She yells at everyone and tells them to stop laughing and that the twins are just mean and something else. He doesn't remember because all he recalls is the warmth of her standing beside him, defending him. The way her eyes shined with her anger and yet when she turned to look at him they quickly became soft and caring. She led him inside his home taking him directly to the bathroom and proceeded to try and help him clean up. He remembers how soothing it felt to have Leah run her fingers through his hair as she tried to get as much of the mess out of his hair. How self-conscious he felt about his body when she told him to take off his shirt.

After cleaning him up as much as she could the two of them went to his room and lied down on his bed. Jacob Black was never a shy or quiet child and his suddenly lack of conversation led Leah to believe that he was still upset over the horrible prank. He was upset but at the same time glad that the prank took place because Leah was paying attention to him and him alone. He remembers closing his eyes and listening to Leah talk about nothing in particular – focused on keeping him company. Eventually Leah dozed off herself and Jacob opened his eyes to see her lying beside him, her lips slightly parted and her sweet breath blowing gently starting to cool his quickly heating cheeks. She looked so peaceful sleeping beside him and before he knew it his face was mere inches from Leah's face and most importantly her lips. Her lips looked so soft and full that he could no longer fight it and gently kissed her lips.

She tasted like strawberries – she had snuck a strawberry off of the twins' cake when she thought no one, particularly her mother, was looking; he saw though. Not long afterwards the twins came in after being lectured by their father and Sue Clearwater apologizing for their mean prank. Surprisingly Jacob quickly forgave his sisters and ran outside to play as if nothing had happened. To him nothing else mattered because at the age of 10 he was in love. He was in love with the sweetest, bravest, kindest and most beautiful girl in the world.

But love at that age is easy; it's innocent, unconditional and selfless. That's how it started as simply admiring and adoring Leah. There wasn't anything that he couldn't and wouldn't do for Leah; he'd fix her bike for free, he gave her his lunch when Seth would leave his behind, he'd walk in the rain gladly because it meant that Leah and Seth were dry under his umbrella (Seth tending to forget and lose things a lot) and when she tripped over a hurdle skinning her knee he carried her all the way home on his back – there wasn't anything that he'd deny her. But the innocence didn't last as the childish love became teenage lust and eventually just a fantasy of something that would never be. He strived to become the kind of man that Leah Clearwater would love; he recalled his feelings of self-consciousness over his body, how laying down and talking to someone always helped ease her fears and worries and she wanted to look out for other kids. His entire life focused on meeting each of the small details that he had learned about her over the years. He worked out, study hard, always helpful and never a bully but then Leah hooked up with Sam Uley and never looked back leaving Jacob dejected for a moment as he moved on as well.

He moved onto Bella Swan. She was no Leah Clearwater by any means but she was sweet, kind and her dark brown eyes contrasted with her pale skin nicely. Even though Jacob had Bella it never meant that he had forgotten about his first love. Leah still filled his dreams at night and even his fantasies when Bella was being a cock tease wanting to wait until they were married. Which was fine; Leah would just always be his one 'gimme' within his relationship. You know that one woman that'd he sleep with and Bella couldn't get upset about.

Leah became simply that a fantasy girl who only existed in his dreams that is until she walked into his first psychology class his freshman year. When he saw her he felt like his whole world was crashing down around him. He had been loyal to Bella for two-years but his Achilles heel had just walked through the door looking even more beautiful then he remembered. Sure he knew that she was attending the same college but never imagined he'd sit through class with her. Not only did they have the same class but she sat next to him and talked to him everyday. They had lunch together and a couple of other classes together like history, lit classes and other electives.

She was becoming a teacher and he a psychologist - eventually. They'd probably work together back home and his fantasies began all over again. The two of them in his office – her problem being a sex addict that only he could satisfy. She expanding her lessons and teaching him everything she knew about sex. The only problem was that _she_ was still with Sam Uley and _he_ was still with Bella Swan. They both often talked of their significant others and this small detail only pulled Jacob further and further into Leah – she was honest, loyal and a true friend. As their friendship continued to grow they're relationships with Sam and Bella seemed to change. Sam was blowing off his and Leah's Friday's dates using work as an excuse. Jacob recalls frowning when he would find Leah in the game room when she was supposed to be on her date and she would tell him Uley's sorry excuse. He had his doubts about Sam's loyalty and fidelity to Leah but he dismissed them as just simple 'jealousy' issues. Jacob Black _wanted_ Leah Clearwater and a cheating boyfriend would be his in. Bella at the same time was exhibiting similar behaviors by not answering her phone when he called; taking sometimes hours or even days to return his call, and when she did answer she was short and seemed to be whispering. Jacob knew of Edward Cullen – while he was stuck at tribal school Bella was stuck at Forks High with him. She had a crush on the Cullen boy, he knew, but felt confident in their relationship – at the time.

After Leah graduated he missed seeing her since she went back to La Push to take a teaching job in the tribal school and his summers were spent in summer school taking full loads of works, busy writing papers, working in wards, prisons and the occasional office when one of his favorite professors. His relationship with Bella was all but non-existent as he stopped calling her opting instead to write his assignments. She called him wondering if he was alright and his favorite was 'are you seeing someone else'. That question caused him to laugh bitterly as he knew perfectly well that what she was questioning him she was guilty of herself. What really surprised him was when Bella showed up at his graduation with Edward on her arm. Leah was just as surprised and he recalls the sense of pride and admiration he felt when Leah stood by his side possessively glaring at his supposed _girlfriend_.

Bella had come to _his_ graduation with her _new boyfriend_ to then break up with him. Jacob would've been angry but he saw this coming and all he really cared about was hanging out with Leah after everything was said and done. Apparently, he hadn't given his Bells the proper reaction, which was a smile and a 'sure, sure'. She tried to clean it up saying that she just wasn't ready to settle down, she wanted to see the world, make friends and not stay in a rainy peninsula for the rest of her life. Edward was just a friend but that 'Jacob, I _still_ love you and always will. I just need to see if I can stand on my own two feet without you. You'll always be my sunshine and I'll always want you'. Thinking back on it had all of this transpired when he was still in high school – he'd probably be a jealous wreck. He'd believe her sweet words that she _still loved him_ while kissing and getting cozy with another. He'd convince himself that she just needed more time to figure out that _he_ was what she really wanted and needed.

He'd learn that relationships are about give-and-take. Bella didn't have much to offer him within their relationship and even her supposed friendships were half-assed. Bella didn't enjoy hanging out with his friends nor did she enjoy being around any of her own. She was quiet and when she _tried_ to be witty and clever it only came out as a weak remark which the others chose to ignore because Jacob liked her. He'd learn what a relationship could be like through interacting with Leah and from Quil and Embry's attempts at dating. "Man, I don't know how you did it. But Leah is _way_ better than Bella Swan." Quil commented one night after the group of them had done a group date. Again Sam had stood Leah up. Jacob corrected them that he and Leah weren't dating but just friends although the thought and idea had already crossed his mind.

"I'm an idiot." Jacob groans out roughly running his hands across his face.

"I'm afraid that I'll have to agree." Billy says snapping Jacob out of his mood. Jacob's eyes widen looking at his father; who's sitting before him in the house. Jacob groans as Billy weakly chuckles. "Yes, I'm afraid I've been here for quite a while now." Billy admits confirming Jacob's thoughts.

"How long?" Jacob asks leaning back in his chair to stare up at the ceiling.

"Well long enough to know that it'd probably be best if I went to my room before Leah finished streaking to the door." Jacob's head immediately shoots straight up as he glares darkly at his father. "Calm down now. I want _you_ to be with Leah more than anyone else. She's yours, I know." Billy says showing his hands up in mock surrender. "However, if you keep messing up like this I might have to step in." Billy chuckles as Jacob's face suddenly pales.

"You're a dirty old man." Jacob admits shaking the thoughts of Leah and Billy from his head.

"Might I make a suggestion?" Billy asks and Jacob waves his hand ushering him to continue. "Tell the girl you love her before banging her. And preferably, before your _first_ go 'round."

"I have to finish Quil's truck." Jacob says gruffly getting up and shooting his father a dark glare before heading back outside. He didn't need his father telling him how to win the love of his life. Jacob _knew_ what to do – the only problem was actually _following through_ with it. Leah's presence just had such an affect on him that all rational thought escaped him. All that mattered was _her_; being with her, making her smile, laugh and just her everything. Jacob sighs heavily – he is beyond a shadow of a doubt _in_ love with Leah Clearwater.

Jacob's thoughts continue to stray to Leah and his options to getting back on her good side. He knows that she'll need time to think; think over what he said, what they did and what she feels. They fit too perfectly together for them _not_ to try and make something of their relationship. Leah wasn't quick to let just anyone bed her – plenty of guys had tried and worse even within his presence. She had put all her trust in him – had he violated that trust? She loves him, he knows that. He sees it in her eyes whenever they see one another, touch one another and even just hearing each other's voices.

There is just _one_ thing that has been bugging Jacob since she drove away from him. Why didn't she believe him? Why did she think he _couldn't_ love her? If there was one thing Leah Clearwater was not short on it was self-esteem.

"I'm going to have to figure out _why_ she didn't want to believe me." Jacob states out loud coming out of his thoughts holding Leah's panties and bra. Holding Leah's undergarments reminds him of Leah's smell, her warmth, her beautiful moans awakening his aching groan – he doesn't believe he'll ever get enough of that woman.

"Your Dad said you were out here _still_ working on my truck?" Jacob quickly turns around hiding the objects behind his back as Quil walks in with a smile. Quil's smile falls the moment he notices Jacob's tense and unusual posture.

"Yea, yea I need more time." Jacob says nodding at the truck with his head as Quil frowns at him.

"You said you'd have it done today." Quil pushes crossing his arms and casually looks around the garage. Jacob narrows his eyes at Quil before turning around heading towards his work bench tucking the unmentionables in a drawer.

"Well something came up." Jacob says with a shrug as Quil chuckles behind him.

"Well its fine if you need more time. I just need to grab something out the glove compartment." Quil says hopping in the cab and rummaging around. Jacob normally doesn't mind Quil's presence but at the moment he kind of wanted some alone time with Leah's – and he slaps his forehead. "So Leah's doing great, I take it?" Quil asks hoping out the truck and slamming the door. "And I'm glad you two are still using protection."

"Fuck." Jacob hisses as he grabs his shirt off the floor and pulls it down to hide his stubborn hard on as Quil laughs at his friend's misfortune.

"Looks like you've already done that – four times?" Quil says wide eyed and obviously impressed. Jacob turns around frowning as he notices Quil _counting_ out his condoms.

"I can't believe you keep track of your condoms like that." Jacob says bumping Quil with his shoulder as he walks by him.

"Yea, I can't believe Grandpa thinks I actually care about the difference between butter and margarine. What's your point?" Quil asks with a shrug earning a confused chuckle from Quil. "I know; what does that have to do with all the tea in China?"

"Quil just shut up." Jacob says shaking his head.

"Awe, c'mon, man. You're supposed to our expert psychologist. You shouldn't tell your patients to shut up."

"First, I'm not an expert."

"Damn, right." Quil quips earning a dark look from Jacob.

"Secondly, I _legally_ cannot practice until I get my Masters."

"A _minor_ technicality. But you just can't open up your own practice _until_ you get your Masters." Quil states with a shrug.

"And _finally_ you're _not_ my patient. You're my best friend and I can tell you to shut the fuck up as much as I want. It's all apart of our healthy friendship."

"Open communication?"

"Open communication." Jacob says with a nod getting back to work on Quil's truck. Jacob may have wanted to mope and daydream about Leah and their situation but he was secretly glad that Quil had stopped by; he always knew how to put him in a good mood.

"While we're practicing this 'open communication'," Quil says with air quotations as Jacob sighs heavily. Right now he's regretting the appreciative comment.

"Don't, Quil. Just don't." Jacob says shaking his head.

"I'm just saying that you are so _into_ Leah it's ridiculous. I just don't get why you haven't just come out and told her that you love her?"

"I did." Jacob says sadly turning back to his work.

"Oh shit! Seriously? So when were you going to tell me? Wait…is she inside asleep? Can I wake her up?" Quil asks his eyes lighting up. Quil is no exception to having had a crush on Leah Clearwater but he's since moved on and sees Leah as a near and dear friend; a friend who he'd love to prank just once.

"She's not here." Jacob answers his brow furrowing angrily as his tone becomes short and sharp.

"Oh…uh, is it alright to tell a psych major he needs to talk about it?" Quil asks leaning against the workbench. Letting out a sigh Jacob concedes telling Quil as much as he feels comfortable letting his cousin know – there's no need to get into the sordid details. He tells Quil about Leah's arrival, how Sam accused her of cheating on him, the playful game that erupted leading up to the loud thunderclap. The kiss, their mad dash to the house (being naked not necessary information to relay), Leah's sudden bout of guilt and the frustration he felt seeing the look of regret in her eyes. His confession of his feelings for her and finally the look of disbelief and hurt that crossed her features before she finally left.

"I…I just wish I knew why she didn't think she could believe me." Jacob says with a sigh as Quil looks on thoughtfully. Both wish they had the answer.

"There's always Rachel." Quil offers shrugging his shoulders.

* * *

I'm not sure how long I've been asleep but when I come to it's to the loud and heavy footsteps of my brother, Seth, back from work. My room is completely pitch black with only the hallway light illuminating my room. I hear Seth stop by my door and look in on me before heading further down the hall to his room. I let out a breath that I wasn't aware I was holding as it comes out in jagged short breaths. I can't believe I cried myself to sleep over Jacob's words, 'That I love _you_!' keeps playing over and over again in my head. I need to talk to someone about this and slowly I sit up in my bed feeling completely drained – emotionally and physically.

I get up from my bed and slowly pad towards Seth's door just following the wood paneling design. Seth and I used to make a game out of the patterns picking one and then jumping from one pattern to the other. I hear a deep groan once I reach Seth's doorframe and leaning against it for support I look in to see my not-so little brother standing with his back to me. He's a tribal officer; it's always been his dream since he was little. There isn't much to do on such a small rez but whenever someone gets a little out-of-hand, or there's rumors of drug problems with some kids it's the tribal officers' jobs to investigate the matter and deal with it; our own little police station.

"Hey, Leah thought you were asleep." Seth says taking off his light brown button-up shirt to reveal a simple white tank underneath.

"I, I just woke up." I rasp out and immediately wince at the hoarse sound of my own voice. Seth quickly turns around to look at me his brow furrowed and straightens up once he sees my face. "Do I look _that_ bad?" I ask chuckling lightly as I walk into his room meeting him halfway.

"Leah, what's the matter? What happened?" Seth demands wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I can't help but smile and lean into my brother's embrace. I feel as secure with him as I do with Daddy and even…Jacob.

"I…that is," I begin unsure of exactly how to get the ball rolling.

"C'mon." Seth says leading me to his bed. We both sit down and Seth rests his cheek against the top of my head. I'm 5-years older than my brother and it's sometimes hard to believe that he's bigger than me now. But before there was Jacob, Sam and any other boys there was always Seth and Daddy. When I couldn't talk to one there was always the other.

"Is this about Sam?" Seth asks after a couple minutes of silence and I slowly shake my head. The moment I shake my head Seth sits up straight and frowns down looking giving me a stern, hard look. "Lee, what happened?" Seth asks and as I look down preparing to open my mouth he answers his own question. "Jesus, Lee, not Jacob again."

"What do you mean 'not Jacob again'?" I ask as Seth groans and lies down on his bed. I know he's tired after working all day and my emotional problems is a lot of added baggage.

"Okay, so _again_ is a poor word choice." Seth says throwing his arm across his face as I lay down next to him looking up at the ceiling.

"I needed someone to talk to, hang out with." I begin starting with the _clean_, honest truth.

"Rachel?"

"Busy. And Paul was there." I state my nose scrunching in disgust at the mention of my best friend's husband.

"Dad?"

"Working at the lodge." I throw out as Seth grumbles to himself. "Look, I also really missed him."

"And you _thought_ going to see the guy you were screwing during your time apart from Sam was a _good_ idea?" Seth asks turning his head to look at me and I frown because honestly, yea, yea I did. It seemed harmless at the time. "Jesus, Lee. Did you sleep with him?"

"He told me he loves me." I blurt out not wanting to answer that question. As kids Seth always looked up to Jacob wanting to do anything and everything that he did. I think it was because Dad was busy with work and tribal duties, I was a girl and that left him with Sam, Jacob or Quil among the tribal elders' kids. Apparently, Seth saw something in Jacob that he admired and I was too stupid to see at that age. Seth falls silent looking at me in disbelief.

"He just came out and said it?" Seth asks softly as I nod my head.

"He said that he loved me before I went back to Sam." I whisper resting my head on Seth's shoulder.

"You don't believe him, right?" Seth demands and I can hear the frown and anger in his voice. I don't respond back but think it over. "Right." Seth demands again jerking his shoulder.

"Right." I agree reluctantly biting my bottom lip and trying to fight back another bout of tears.

"Don't fall for that, Lee." Seth says wrapping his arm around my shoulders and holding me close. "Listen, you already know how I feel about both of them right now." Seth says and I nod my head. Remember when I mentioned Seth looking up to Jacob? Well that all changed the moment our 'special' relationship ended.

* * *

_I can't believe what has happened. It's funny how you suddenly seem to wake up and realize that you're in love with someone. The person _who_ I thought I was in love with isn't the one I am _in_ love with. It's not that I no longer love Sam anymore it's just not the same. I smile happily thinking about how I've fallen for Jacob Black. We had started off as platonic friends but a little bit of relational problems with our so-called significant others and we become inseparable. I don't want to think about going through life without Jacob in my life and I have a feeling that deep down he might feel the same way. I can't help the smile that graces my lips as I take another sip from my cup of coffee. "Glad you decided to grace us with your presence this morning." I look up from my paper to see my Dad walking into the kitchen._

"_Morning, Daddy." I greet him as he sits down beside me and snags the sports section. _

"_Need some time apart from Jacob?" Daddy asks and I narrow my eyes at him just holding my cup at my waiting mouth. I love my Dad to pieces and we've always been really close. But when he comments on my social life it can be a bit…embarrassing. You think Billy Black is bad? He's learned it from Harry Clearwater._

"_I just wanted to, uh, sleep in my own bed. Besides I only sleep over there during the weekends." I state matter-of-factly._

"_Oh, really? And since when has Wednesday and Thursday been apart of the weekend?" Daddy asks with a smug smirk. "Don't get me wrong. I appreciate you two keeping _that_ over at his place. Your old man has a bad heart and can't stand to hear the sounds of you two caught in the throes of,"_

"_DADDY!" I cry out finally putting my cup down and my cheeks burning bright red as I'm sure the rest of my body is._

"_Sorry, sweetheart." Daddy says laughing out loud. He loves to torment and torture me. "Look, Jacob is a great young man. He's smart, kind, gentle, loyal, dependable and has a bright future ahead of him." Daddy says smiling at me with that warm Daddy smile. "Personally, I prefer him over Uley any day but _I'm _not the one either of them are interested in."_

"_Otherwise that'd just be too awkward." I throw out rolling my eyes._

"_But…I want you to just follow your heart on this one." Daddy says placing his hand on top of mine and squeezing it before getting up. "Alright, so I think I hit my 'Daddy's Little Girl' comments and advice quota for the week. You be good and be _safe_." Daddy says as he heads out the door off to work. _

"_Aren't I always?" I state proudly._

"_At least that's what Jacob tells me." I groan letting my head hit the table at my father's last jab. It sucks having a parent who knows all about your sex life. But at least he's not hounding me about the moral ramifications of my actions or 'what this is doing to Sam' according to my mother. I love my mother but she really needs to get over herself. She is all up on Sam's dick thinking he's the greatest thing since sliced bread with butter on top. To her Sam can do _no_ wrong even _after_ he was caught plowing my cousin, Emily, in front of 1/3 of the Quileute population. According to her 'it was just a drunken mistake. You and Emily look so much alike. Don't let this ruin everything.' Puh-lease, as if. Maybe _he_ should've thought of that before he stuck her with his dick. I can't help but frown as I think back on that day and the many other conversations since then. _

_Honestly, Sam and Emily's coupling has been the best thing for me ever. Without their little fuck up I never would've gotten to know Jacob as intimately and closely as I have now. Hearing the back screen door open I shake my head chuckling thinking it's only Daddy coming back because he's forgotten his car keys – _again_. "What'd you forget this time Da," I start off but cut myself short as I see Sam walk in smiling sheepishly. "Hey." I greet him turning back to my newspaper._

"_Morning, Lee-Lee." Sam greets using that _annoying _pet name he came up for me. It was cute once upon time but now it annoys me. "How are you doing?" Sam asks sitting down in Daddy's chair._

"_Pretty good, actually." I answer giving him a rare smile that seems to brighten his mood. "Yesterday was the last day of summer school. So at least for another month I don't have to worry teachers, school books and any kids' dirty looks." Sam chuckled along with me nodding his head. _

"_Have you given anymore thought about _us?" _Sam asks breaking our few minutes of rare and comfortable silence._

_My talk with Sam went pretty well and he seemed…mildly okay with my statement that I wasn't ready to get back together exclusively. It's funny being on the other end; I've never asked a guy to be…what? Serious with me? But I'm just going to come out and tell Jake that I like him and would like to seriously pursue our relationship and see if we can really make something long termed out 'us'. _

* * *

_As I walk down the street I slow my pace down to see an old beat up red truck. It's not just any truck but it's ugh…Bella Swan's. I, personally, don't have anything against Bella but she's being toying around with Jacob for far too long. I've been good and have kept my mouth shut when I'm around her mainly because Jacob is still her 'friend'. She suddenly showed up about two weeks ago once the rumors got around that Jake and I are a couple. He wasn't surprised to see her since Sam was becoming a more frequent visitor at home. _

_I continue on walking at my normal pace hoping that by the time I make my way to the driveway she'll already be on her way back home or wherever the hell she and Eddie boy go. But, wouldn't you know it – she's still there. Then again it's not as if I had far to walk. As per usual for Jake around this time I know I can find him in the garage working on the latest project for either himself or someone on the Rez. My suspicions are confirmed when I hear something fall in the garage and I fight back a chuckle picturing Bella having tripped over something in her usual klutzy manner._

"_Jacob." I hear Bella breathe out and that causes me to pause. Why would she just 'breathe' out Jacob's name? First of all, I know I'm too old to be sneaking around to ease drop on my boyfriend, _potential_ boyfriend's conversations with other females but you'd be a little concerned too if it was Jacob Black. And secondly, Jacob has already told Bella that he doesn't _feel_ the same about her anymore. Peeking around the corner I feel my blood run cold and my throat close up as I see Bella, Bella Swan gasping holding her clasped hands to her chest in surprise as Jacob is presenting to her a small diamond engagement ring._

"_Listen, Bells." Jacob says with a deep sigh before looking up at her smiling. "This time apart has given me a lot of time to think about things. Think about me, you, _us_. It's put what's important to me in perspective and what I truly want out of life."_

"_An engagement ring?" She breathes out in disbelief. Yea, I'm right with ya heifa. Jacob only nods his head amused by Bella's surprised gawk. _

"_Yes, Bells, an engagement ring."_

"_Are, are you sure about…this? I mean _we,"

"_I love you, Bells. I do," And that was it. I couldn't stand to hear anymore. Jacob was proposing to _Bella Swan_? After everything she put him through? He still loved her, correction _love_; he still loves her. _

_I head back home trying to fight back a bout of tears. I really have no right to cry because Jacob has always loved Bella Swan. She's not perfect or coordinated or decisive and a skank – okay, down jealousy, down. But the point of the matter is he loves her. We're just friends who hooked up and had some fun with each other to pass the time and unleash some pent up frustration. That's it and so there's nothing wrong with Jake wanting a real relationship. He deserves and so do I. We both deserve someone to love and to love us back._

Despite my strong determination that day I still cried and, unfortunately, Seth saw my tears. I've never been able to keep much from my brother; maybe it's the soon-to-be detective in him but he's always known when something is wrong. Sitting out on our back porch I told him about my decision over Sam and that I was choosing Jacob. However, Jacob was now choosing Bella. Seth didn't believe me at first thinking that I'd misunderstood; that maybe if I had stuck around longer or just walked in like I normally would.

* * *

I thought it over and believed that Seth was right. Maybe I was overreacting and Jacob was just flashing an engagement ring…because? Why the hell would he have one? Guys don't just carry engagement rings around to flash around to other girls. At least those were some of the thoughts that went through my head while Seth went to get to the bottom of the situation.

Seth came back hours later pissed off cussing under his breath and his anger had confirmed my original thoughts. Jacob _had _proposed to Bella Swan but she turned him down. When Jacob stopped by the next day that's when I broke it off with him. He was confused by my sudden change of heart and before he could say anything more Seth came in saying that we had an errand to run.

After that I started seeing other people and wound up back with Sam as before. Jake and I still talked in the meantime but never really about _us_. He never mentioned his proposal to Bella and I never asked. According to Seth, Bella turned Jacob down. Guess I would just be his consolation prize.

"Leah, did you hear me?" Seth asks sternly as I open my eyes. "You deserve better. Don't just settle for either Jacob or Sam."

"I won't, Seth." I sigh shaking my head as Seth kisses my forehead. Seth is right though. I'm not just settling with Sam. He made a mistake and was man enough to own up to it. Not only that but he's done everything he could do and more to make it all up to me. He gave me space when I asked for it and has respected all of my decisions up until this point. He's not perfect but neither am I.

* * *

A/N: Well I finally updated. After talking with cucumber07 I decided 'ah the the hell with it' and went ahead to post up what I have. I apologize for any errors but I've just finished a 5-hr straight Left 4 Dead 2 campaign and my EYES HURT! THEY BURNS US! THEY BURNS US! But now you all know _why_ Leah doesn't believe Jacob. Will he be able to make everything right? ...I'd add more but I'm so tired.

chelley - I finally got your story. I'll edit it while at work tomorrow. Everything should be light because of the upcoming 3-day weekend.

Thanks for all your reviews! I really do appreciate them and they all inspire me. -_-; Just sometimes life happens that makes some as fun as writing such a chore for me. But you all know what to do. Don't just read but REVIEW! REVIEW! Even if it's to say 'love it', 'hate it'...c'mon peeps give me a bone.

Also on a completely different note since I'm hooked on cucumber07's story I've followed her to the Jacob Black n Pack site. I love it because I can post my status and still keep my ani...ugh, so tired. Keep my real name free from stalkers. And all that privacy junk. Just as an FYI I am currently working on Wake Up Call.


	5. Advice, Truth and Say Wha!

Advice, Truth and Say Wha?

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters but did go to Burger King again…and currently I have 2 Bree's and a Alex. Pfft, stupid vamps keep trying to make their way into my room. NO! You leeches stay outside in my car and overheat! **

* * *

Seth was right that I deserved more but than again he didn't know that I was no better than Sam Uley. Maybe despite everything we _were_ truly meant to be together; we are one and the same. Yin and yang. Sun and moon. All relationships hit a bump in the road every once in a while and it's how the couple settles their issues is what defines whether or not they can make it work and have a truly lasting relationship. That's what I kept telling myself over and over again for the last week debating on what to do about Sam. Do I break it off because I can't be trusted to be in the same room with my best friend's brother? Or do I _actually_ fight my hormones like a rational human being and fight for what is mine? I'm going to fight for what is mine…damnit.

Alright, Clearwater, say it again but with more feeling…

_DAMNIT!_

Yea, that's it. Are you going to let your slut of a cousin come in and ruin your relationship with Sam?

_Hell no!_

Are you going to give up your first love just because you had a taste of, what could possibly be coined as, the best dick you've ever had in your life?

_Wait…what?_

Are you going to let that wolverine inside of you de-evolve into a spineless amoeba just letting any other girl have what should be rightfully yours?

_Who am I thinking about here?_

No! Of course not!

_Yea…?_

So you're going to march yourself straight up to him _and_ you're going to demand the love and respect you deserve, right?

…_Right._

Despite all the sports I played I was never good at giving pep talks to psyche someone up. I can't even psyche myself up; all I've done is confused myself even more so. I've dated a lot of guys after Sam _and_ after Jacob; it's any wonder how I find myself right back in a relationship with either one of them.

…alright, brain, let's try this again.

I've been thinking long and hard over my conversation with Seth. My little brother is absolutely right in that I shouldn't just settle on a relationship. I deserve a long lasting relationship with someone who I not only get along with but can trust, be open with, have conversations with and just be 'me'. The problem is right now I'm not really sure if I can trust Jacob because he claimed to love me before my engagement with Sam but he proposed to Bella. I can't be open with Sam because then I'll feel like the scum of the Earth for skipping out on him…five times; five glorious times all in one day but that's irrelevant. I can't be silly with Sam and yet I don't have to be too serious with Jacob. Sam is serious, dependable, Quileute pride and suffers from 'daddy didn't love me enough' syndrome. Jacob is fun-loving, dependable, walking Tribe Pride poster star and has some weird, sick obsession with Bella Swan.

Sam _did_ cheat on me.

But I cheated _with_ Jacob.

Sam would much rather accuse me.

Jacob would much rather talk things out.

Sam admitted his faults.

Jacob ain't said a damn thing about the engagement ring.

So after a week of talking to myself and trying to hash this out I instead head over to the person who I probably should've married if I wasn't already too damn late…and the same gender – Rachel Meraz. I do question whether or not this is a good or a bad idea considering how Rachel is Jacob's sister yet she's also married to Sam's best friend, Paul. Becks moved away to Hawaii after getting married and trying to catch her has been unsuccessful. But I need either twin right now and Rachel is my best bet. Walking up to Rachel's front door I knock and rock back and forth on my heels casually. "Well, hello there, stranger." Rachel greets letting me in with a huge smile on her face.

"Rach, how's it going?" I ask her with a hug.

"I'm married." Rachel says dryly and I start laughing at her annoyed expression. "Are you sure you want to join me? Marriage ain't all it's cracked up to be." Rachel huffs as I follow her to the kitchen.

"Really? What's wrong with the _sexy_ Paul?" I ask dripping sarcasm all over 'sexy'.

"Paul has been so busy comforting _your _Sam that he barely has time for me." Rachel huffs with a pout sticking out her bottom lip.

"I'm sorry, Hun." I coo lightly patting her hand.

"Oh, that's a damn lie and we both know it." Rachel says quickly snatching her hand away and frowning at me. We look at each other for a moment before breaking out into laughter. "Alright, so what's going on between you two? Wait…let me get some coffee." Rachel says jumping up and grabbing two cups.

"Must we always talk over coffee?" I ask rolling my eyes. "Why don't we have tea? Or Sweet tea – vodka would be even better." I suggest my eyes lighting up.

"That's easy because it makes me feel as if I'm one up-ing my little brother." Rachel says bringing over the already made coffee pot and mugs. "He doesn't offer anyone anything except 'advice'." Rachel says rolling her eyes.

"He's studying to become a _psychologist_, Rach. It's pretty much what he wants to do for a living." I state trying to hold back my laugh. I swear I love every member of the Black family as if they were my own family. They all just crack me up; that and the twins are just as competitive as I am.

"Yea, yea whatever. Or would you prefer my wanna-be-Dr. Phil brother's, 'Sure, sure' instead?" Rachel says waving her hand dismissively at the thought of her brother. "Alright so let's get this started. Tell me what's been going on? Paul's got nothing or at least he's not spilling." Rachel says narrowing her eyes and looking away as if it's all some sort of conspiracy against her. "I'm in the dark."

"Well…," I say taking a deep breath. "You already know I walked out on Sam two weeks ago because he accused me of screwing Jacob." I start and tell Rachel about the whole conversation, the pot roast that she agrees should've been thrown at Sam while adding in that 'grit ball' would've been a nice touch. Which led us both off track because neither of us have ever had grits and I think that Rachel is watching too many of them Madea movies. "And so I went to go see Jake…and…I wound up – that is _we_ wound up screwing one another." I say with a sigh feeling ashamed of myself – but only because I'd hate for a friend of mine to come over and talk to me about having sex with_ my_ little brother.

"I know that already; Jacob's already told me." Rachel says as my head quickly snaps up and I glare at her. She has the audacity to actually be smiling while giving me an innocent look. _She_ already _knew_? Jacob told her?

"What?" I hiss.

"Yea, he dropped your dress off. I knew you two fucked…again. I also know that the two of you did it at least five times." My eyes widen at her bold desire to spread all of my business.

"Did Jake tell you that?" I ask leaning in holding my coffee mug tightly in between my hands. I swear to God if that man is walking around telling the entire fucking Rez that we've fucked each other; 6'7" my ass I will find a way to drop his ass. I didn't spend 7-years in mixed martial arts and 6-months of Billy Blanks Taibo for nothing.

"No, of course not." Rachel says shaking her head and paling as if the news coming from him would disgust her. "Quil and Daddy told me."

"Wh-what?" I choke out spitting my coffee all over the table as Rachel frowns at the mess.

"That's disgusting, Lee." Rachel says her nose crinkling.

"What the _hell_ do Quil and Billy know?" I ask quickly getting up and grabbing a towel to clean up the mess. I swear one day I will gain control of my bodily functions around all the Black children…some day. "Or at least Billy?" I ask cleaning up the mess.

"You're not curious about Quil's insight?" Rachel asks mildly hurt by my lack of interest in her informants.

"Quil counts condoms." I state with a frown letting out a sigh. "I completely forgot that he bought that run down old truck from Old Mason about a month ago."

"Yea…you're right. Damn, I wanted to make you wiggle over that one." Rachel says biting the tip of her thumb with a smirk. "By the way you two owe him 2 condoms each. That fifth one was a freebie – I think it's supposed to be congratulatory or something."

"No, I don't owe him a damn thing. He's just going to chalk it up to one of his own success stories anyway. _I'll_ tell him we're even." I state with a smirk sitting down now that my mess is cleaned up. "Billy."

"Apparently, it's hard to go fishing in a thunder storm." Rachel says and as my face grows longer as her smile only grows bigger.

"Fuck." I hiss burying my head into my arms across the table. I completely forgot that there was a chance that Charlie could've brought Billy back because of the thunderstorm. If he knows we did it in the shower…than he probably saw me streaking..? Where's the hole to swallow me up?

"Well isn't that what brought you here in the first place?" Rachel asks laughing at my word choice. "Oh, cheer up, Lee. It's not that bad." Rachel says as I bang my head against the table an absurd amount of times. Maybe I can give myself a concussion and this whole week will be wiped from my mind. I'll never remember screwing Jacob in the garage and the shower. I'll be completely ignorant and blissful.

"Alright…what do I do? I cheated on Sam thus making me no better than Emily."

"First, let me stop you right there." Rachel says holding up her hand. "You _are_ better than Emily in that you didn't have to get yourself and Jake drunk in order to get laid." I frown because I don't see the upside in that statement. Getting drunk is a pretty decent excuse for doing something that you'd normally not do. I was completely sober. "_You_, my dear, naturally attract men, mainly my brother, to you like bees to honey. Your actions weren't pre-meditated like Emily _who_ by the way has _never_ deserved to be your maid of honor. Thus, why _I_ am your better choice to be _matron_ of honor for when you get married. Just throwing that out there." Rachel says and I roll my eyes. Ever since I picked Emily as my maid of honor Rachel has been out to get Emily because no one would've been or should've been a better choice than Rachel Meraz. Not that now in hindsight turns out she was right but we're getting off topic.

"Cheating is still cheating." I state shaking my head.

"Eh, but you love my brother and really can't help yourself." Rachel says shrugging her shoulders.

"I, I don't love Jake like _that_." I say with a heavy sigh shaking my head.

"Yea, yea you do." Rachel says nodding her head confidently. "You smile just saying his name." Rachel says pointing at me as if the evidence was right on my face. Oh shit! I was just smiling. "I don't know why you keep denying it."

"I love Sam though." I pout looking down at the table. Did that even sound confident?

"Yea, I know that too. But you're _in_ love with Jacob. Sam is someone who you've grown to know and care about. But you don't feel the same way as you used to." Rachel says wisely for once not being smug or smiling at her words. She's being sincere.

"He loves Bella Swan still." I throw out resting my chin in the palm of my hand.

"The Swan girl? No, no he doesn't." Rachel says her eyes narrowing at me.

"He bought her an engagement ring." I whisper and this time it's Rachel who's choking on her coffee.

"Wait…wait what?" Rachel coughs out her eyes wide in disbelief. I nod my head and tell her about the proposal in the garage. "No…no, that can't be right." Rachel says shaking her head in disbelief. "He…he wouldn't have proposed to Bella…he couldn't have." Rachel says talking more so to herself than to me.

"He never mentioned the engagement ring to you?" I ask frowning because now this is all starting to sound a little odd.

"NO." Rachel snaps. "That little prick; what the hell does he think he's doing?"

"He's doing what he thinks best, I guess." I answer shrugging my shoulders. I really don't like dwelling on the Jake-Bella issue.

"But you _do_ love him. Even as kids you loved him." Rachel says with a warm smile. "Make the decision that's right for you, Lee. Don't just marry Sam because you want to get married and the two of you 'get along'." Rachel says with a frown.

"Did you?" I ask her as she shakes her head.

"No, I didn't. Paul and I have had our problems and I know he's not the easiest guy to get along with. But I _love_ him and he loves me. I'm his top priority and I know whenever I need him he'll always be there for me." Rachel says smiling lovingly. I can't help but return Rachel's smile because _that's_ all I'm looking for. Rachel and I talk some more about what's going on with her, me, work, family, the wedding that will happen but just not as originally planned.

On my way home after spending hours talking and laughing with Rachel I start to think back on what Rachel said. It's true I've always loved Jacob Black. What wasn't there to love about him? He was just always the sweetest and cutest thing on the Rez. When I started noticing him as more than just as a friend it was already too late. I was with Sam and he was just hooking up with Bella Swan. He seemed to really like her and I didn't want to do anything to ruin a relationship that was just starting; so I said nothing. College made it even harder not to fall more in love with him because he was smart, clever, a great listener and an even better friend. Sam had stood me up, literally, one time too many and so I stopped arranging dates with Sam on Friday nights. Instead, I hung out in the game room to pass the time with some classmates and because there was also a real good chance that I'd see Jacob. I probably should've told Jake that _I_ was the one blowing Sam off just so I could hang out with him but he'd mention Bella and I'd back off. Unlike _some_ people I respect established relationships.

In the end, the truth of the matter is that I love Jacob _and_ Sam. Maybe Jacob a bit more romantically and intimately than Sam…but it could just be because of how our relationship progressed. Jacob and I started off as friends and have spent many years on building up that friendship while Sam and I have dated. And those two do develop differently. Taking a deep breath I change my course deciding to make a change in my relationships. First, let's go with honesty.

Pulling up outside of Sam's I sigh seeing both Paul and Jared's cars in the driveway. Walking up I knock on the door and wait for Sam to open the door. When I do I'm greeted with the biggest smile I've ever seen on his face. "Leah." Sam breathes opening up the door and smiling down at me as if he doesn't believe I'm at the door. That's one of the reasons why I love Sam because sometimes he makes me feel like I'm the only woman he has eyes for. That and he's worked on the whole 'Lee-Lee' thing too.

"Hey Sam." I greet smiling weakly. "Can I talk to you for a moment?" I ask and he quickly nods his head stepping aside to let me in.

"Hey Leah." Jared greets from the couch as Paul nods his head at me.

"Hey Jared. Hello Paul." I greet Jared warmly but my greeting to Paul is more along the lines of forced politeness; like Jerry Seinfeld with Newman.

"What's going on, Lee?" Paul asks narrowing his eyes at me.

"Nothing much. Just back from spending the whole afternoon with your wife. She misses you." I throw out and Paul's eyes widen as he turns to look at his watch.

"Shit. I gotta go." Paul says quickly jumping up and grabbing his jacket. "Sam I'll talk to ya later. Bye Jared." Paul calls out over his shoulder as he quickly heads towards his truck and home. Jared also seems to take the hint as he more calmly leaves giving me a quick hug on his way out. Do I know how to clear a room or don't I?

"Sit." Sam says motioning me to sit down on the couch.

"Sam…I've been doing a lot of thinking." I tell him and I notice him bite his bottom lip nervously.

* * *

"YOU DID WHAT?" Sam bellows and I swear for just a moment the picture frames on the walls shook with his shock, rage and disbelief. I can't help but sigh wondering why exactly I've decided to do _any_ of this – oh, right. Rachel talked me into rethinking my whole relationships and figure out who I'm really in love with. Seeing Sam pacing back and forth mumbling and cursing to himself in both English and the old language makes me think that I should've started with Jacob. He's easier to handle. "I can't believe this, Leah." Sam says throwing a quick glance at me before continuing his pacing. Wow…no Lee-Lee this time? Means he's really upset with me. "I mean _you_ told _me_,"

"I told you that I hadn't seen Jacob in months and that was true…at the time. I hadn't slept with Jacob for 6-months." I state to Sam with a deep sigh. There should be like a meeting like a J.A. group, Jacob Addicts. I can see it now…wait? Do I even want to picture a room full of women and even weirder men that are addicted to Jacob Black? I swear being a teacher and hanging around with kids most of the times is having an effect on my thoughts. But shaking that train of thought from my mind I turn my attention back to the matter at hand.

"Leah, how could you?" Sam asks finally stopping to look down at me. Looking up at him I'm surprised to see the look of hurt in his eyes. Seth was right when he said that I deserved better out of life – but so did Jacob and Sam. Sam's brow was furrowed with worry and his lips that are usually in a serious frown or hint of a goofy smile is turned down with a small frown. I hadn't noticed how tired and red his eyes were like he'd either been crying or hasn't been sleeping much. "Is, is this because…because of Emily?" Sam asks kneeling down before me and his eyes are searching; almost as if they are trying to penetrate my soul. "I know what I did with Emily was a horrible, _horrible_ mistake, Lee-Lee." Sam says taking my hands into his and squeezing them.

"Sam?" Oh shit. I didn't do this because I wanted to hurt him.

"I love you, Lee-Lee. And _I_ deserve this, I know. _And_ you deserve better." My eyes widen at Sam's words and the sincerity in his eyes and voice. "_I _want to be the man to give you everything you deserve and more, Lee-Lee." I find myself biting my bottom lip trying to fight back the tears that are threatening to come out. Sam's never declared his love for me like this before. I mean he's said it but never with that look in his eyes as if _I_, "If you need time to work things out Lee-Lee then…that's okay with me." Sam says softly gently stroking my cheek. In that small gentle gesture the tears that I've been combating to hold back spill out.

"Oh, Sam," I breathe out leaning my cheek into his warm palm.

"Do you love me, Lee-Lee?" Sam asks leaning in closer as I bite my bottom lip tasting the salt from my own tears and the hint of his warm breathe on my face. I _do_ love Sam but…there's something there with Jacob too. But Jacob's…well, he's my friend, my best friend in fact. "Lee-Lee?" Sam whispers softly lightly brushing his lips against mine. I can only nod my head letting out a small smile. "Say it, Lee-Lee." Sam whispers his voice sounding deep, husky and seductive.

"I love you, Sam." I tell him as I feel a ghost of a smile on his lips before he leans in and kisses me. It's a warm, deep and longing kiss that I soon pull away from before allowing Sam's tongue to caress my own. I hear him call out my name as his kisses travel down to my neck as he leans into me. "Sam, I love you, I do." I say sweetly letting out a soft squeak as I feel him nip at my collarbone. "But," I state leaning back and removing Sam's hands from my waist. I can only smile as Sam's hungry expression shifts back to confusion. "This _thing_ with you and Emily,"

"Was a mistake." Sam says forcefully and I can hear the annoyance in his voice at having to be reminded of his transgression.

"And then there was this _fling_ with Jacob that I had." I continue on letting him know that there's more to this than just me and him.

"But that's all it was, Lee-Lee. A fling." Sam says seriously his frown growing and his eyes darkening with frustration. "So…what _now_? Are you _in_ love with Jacob Black or something?" Sam demands quickly releasing my hands and standing up and towering over me. I _hate_ it when he tries to use his height against me. I sigh heavily feeling my frustration growing along with Sam's – I mean bi-polar much? One minute he's all understanding willing to give me space and the moment I don't just rip both of our clothes off to have mad, passionate sex with him; he's pissed.

"Sam, _don't_ push me." I warn him vehemently remaining seated and glaring up at him. My original thought was to avoid both of them and try to figure out what it was that I wanted out of life; out of our relationships. Sam and I both have a tendency to let our emotions get the better of us and it's one of the things that have bonded us together. We can argue with one another; sure we get so pissed that one of us has a tendency to walk out just to cool down but we've always come back together and laughed about the whole situation. But that was years ago, when we were in high school even.

"_Don't_ push _you_? What about me, Leah? What about _us_? We're supposed to be getting married _this_ summer, remember?" Sam states as his hands begin to flail wildly. "I mean all the planning; the arrangements…you even have a dress for Christ's sake."

"It's off." I state bluntly and Sam freezes at my words. I can't marry Sam when I've just found out that Jacob loves me. As much as I'd like to avoid Jacob and pretend that our afternoon of passion never happened I know that I'd only be kidding myself. Besides this is a small reservation and 'avoiding' someone, especially Jacob Black, is foolhardy and unrealistic.

"Off? You're calling _our_ wedding off?" Sam asks his head tilting to the side as if this new angle will help to bring everything into perspective.

"I'm sorry, Sam. But I just need time to think and figure this all out." I answer truthfully standing and holding my engagement ring out to Sam.

"You keep it." Sam says shaking his head and holding his hands up in refusal. "It's yours. And hopefully it'll remind you that _you're_ the only woman for me." I smile warmly up at him because it's these small moments that make me remember why I fell for him in the first place. Wasn't just that height and the smooth copper skin.

"Thank you, Sam." I tell him holding the ring tightly in my hand before he pulls me into a tight hug.

Not finding much else to talk to Sam about for the moment I quickly gather a few things telling Sam that we'll stay in touch and 'who knows; maybe I'm just stalling for time to earn some more money for that gazebo I've always wanted'. Sam laughs at my small joke helping me box up a few things and it's just as I'm about to head out the door that he drops a major bombshell on me.

"You know…after you left me the first time I really lost it." Sam says causing me to freeze as I put the last box in my car. "I didn't know what I was going to do or how I could make all of this right." Sam says shrugging his shoulders as that glimpse of the sad and broken man makes his come back. "So…I went to go see Jacob." Sam says and my eyes narrow slightly. I didn't know that Jacob was helping Sam out at the time. "He gave me some advice telling me to give you some 'time' and to be patient with you. That if I gave you space and made you understand how sorry I was that you'd come back to me." Sam says and I can feel my lips tightening as I process Sam's words. "And then suddenly he just…stopped. He refused to give me anymore advice…and do you know why?" Sam asks snidely as he takes in a deep breath and crosses his arms. "Because by that time he was fucking you. Guess trying to help me win _you_ back went against what he had going with you." I can't believe what Sam is telling me. "Just something to keep in mind when you go visit Jacob Black, Lee-Lee." Sam says letting slip a small smirk as he turns and heads back inside. That mutha-fucker.

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A/N: Alright, so sorry about the delay but I wrote the top part first and realized that Rachel was completely RUINING the drama that I had planned. *shakes fist* Damn her sage advice. DAMN IT! *shakes fist harder* However…Sam was able to help me throw a wrench in the mix. Is he telling the truth? Or is he lying just to throw a wedge between our precious Blackwater? So Jake now not only has Sam mad at him – and for good reason. But also Rachel _and_ Leah. Tsk, tsk, tsk. So thanks for reading…sighs. Curse you summer for taking away my reviewers who are most likely out in the sun which is why my number of reviews are dropping. But for those of you who have stuck around and make time for little old me. *bats eyelashes* I appreciate all of y'all SOOOO much! So I hope that you all have enjoyed the chapter. Thanks for reading and if you review you're awesome and make my day! ^-^


	6. Patience And the Playground

Patience And the Playground

**Disclaimer: I do NOT own any of the Twilight characters. If I did I would NOT feel compelled to go home, find my copy of Breaking Dawn and THROW THE PIECE OF CRAP WORK AGAIN! UGH! You WHO-ined my Blackwater love. You hear me who-ined! How could you NOT see that Jacob and Leah were developing a relationship, that although not immediately based upon love but a deeply rooted respect (no matter how sarcastic) and understanding of one another. THAT is how you develop a relationship. Not have it THROWN at you in the package of some hot, sexy, muscular, russet...color...*shakes head* THE POINT IS RE-NAME-ME DOESN'T DESERVE JACOB BLACK! XD And this is ME taking a stand. Blackwater love!**

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So, my love life is completely and totally fucked up. That's the long and short of it, in a nutshell. Sam sleeps with my cousin and we break up. Jacob proposes to Bella and we, sort of, break up…? Then I get back _with_ Sam, get engaged and break up with him. Okay, so this last one is all on me because I fucked Jake in his garage. I'd like to see any woman hold it against me. _Anyone!_ Isn't that a Bible quote? 'Let she who is without sin cast the first stone.' Yea, that'll work. Really that's all I remember from Bible Study; well that and 'Jesus wept'. Best scripture – EVER!

But the last thing I need to do is dwell too long on the biblical ramifications of my actions. I'm sure He's not too pleased with the way things have fallen into line. But Dad has always told me that 'patience is a virtue' and I've been working pretty hard on that _one_ bit of advice.

So when Sam told me about Jacob, supposedly, playing Devil's Advocate while sticking his hand, fingers, in my cookie jar; I was a bit angry at first. I mean, can he _ethically_ give advice to both parties involved in a relationship dispute that aren't seeking 'couples' therapy? Jacob was telling _me_ that Sam, obviously, had commitment issues and I should take a break from the relationship to focus on me and 'work out what Leah wants'. At the time, all I really wanted to do was to push him down on the sand and kiss that pretty mouth of his. But, I didn't – thank God.

And yet, he was telling Sam to be patient with me, 'express how apologetic and regretful you are about what has happened'. I'm sure the 'why do you think you slept with Emily' came up, but Sam didn't seem willing to share _that _with me. I'm touched that Sam followed Jacob's advice and a tidbit pissed that Jacob's advice actually _worked_.

The only thing that kept me from throwing in the last box and storming back over to Jake's garage was the desire to think this all over and be 'patient'. Life on a reservation isn't all bonfires, celebrations and Native pride. We have to deal with alcoholism, abuse (sexual, emotional, physical, psychological and substance), poverty, depression and whatever else you can think of. Jacob is basically La Push and Makah's local therapist dealing with all of these issues from the rowdy, violent 4-yr old that won't sit still in his preschool class to the 67-yr old drunk whose just found the beauty within crystal meth.

The government sends social workers and therapists to our land to help 'aid' in these issues but they never really last long. And the only reason that they come is so that they can write a book on the falling of the Red Man or because it looks good on a resume.

Jacob going into this field, at all, is commendable and that he finished is amazing as well. Jacob loves the work that he does and no matter how trying, challenging and depressing it all is, he still sticks with it. Who else was Sam going to talk to? Paul? Jared? Seth? Daddy? If you can't turn to your family and friends for good advice or support then there's only Jacob.

So my anger at Jake lasted for all about 20 minutes and was replaced with a tender awe and deep respect for him. I mean you gotta give him an A for effort; he _tried_ to help Sam, all the while helping me deal with the issue. He never did anything to compromise what I was telling him and he never let on that he was helping Sam. My issues with the relationship and Sam's were two different problems altogether and he treated them as such. Jacob more than kept his doctor-patient confidentiality.

Now I know that we've both crossed the invisible line that separate casual and professional. It now means that I can't go to Jacob and discuss my issues because he's now personally and intimately involved in them. I can't expect him to step back and look at it from the outside; there are just too many emotions and feelings involved. As I'm certain it explains why he stopped helping Sam.

In light of all of this, I've found myself unable to approach Jake since his bold declaration of love for me. Maybe a simple 'I love you' would've sufficed but his 'I've always loved you' just – just…I don't know. It just kind of unnerved me. How could he _always_ have loved me and yet _still_ proposed to Bella Swan? Why does it bother me so much that Jake would propose to the girl that he dated all throughout high school and most of college? Oh…I don't know. Could it be because she's a worthless, lying, conniving and manipulative whore? That also took advantage of Jacob's warm, kind, gentle and understanding manner? Or maybe it's just jealousy? Jealous that despite the relationship we had going, he still chose _her_ first, over me?

Am I really such a competitive person, that I can't even stand being second in a loving relationship? I mean before there was Jake, there was Sam. Then again, maybe it could be the continued 'friendship' that would still exist even if Jake and I became more than just friends or fuck-buddies? It's obvious that Sam wouldn't be a major player in my life but what about Bella? Would Jake still let her in? How far would she let us go before interfering – again?

"A penny for your thoughts?" I hear a warm, deep and familiar voice interrupt my musing. I can't help the smile that graces my face as I turn to look up at Embry Call.

"I strongly suggest you go find a Coin Star and just cash 'em in for dollars." I reply back with a sigh. Embry turns to stand by me looking out over the playground. Embry is one of Jake's best friend and mine too. It's funny how two of the biggest guys I know have taken up fields where they have to be kind, caring, patient and helpful. Embry and I took the same classes in college which is how we've gotten closer.

Embry's the 6th grade teacher and he's perfect for it. He's able to handle the boys who are caught in between nearing their pre-teens and are still children. He just possesses that sensitivity level that lets the boys open up to him and not feel too mushy. He's good looking in his own way, lacking the square and set jaw that Jacob has or that annoying but sexy over-confidence that Sam possesses. His features are a bit softer, making him more trustworthy, and his eyes are a smooth, creamy chocolate that just make me want to stare at them for hours with a tub of double chocolate chip ice cream.

"That many, huh?" Embry comments with a sigh. I nod my head half-heartedly and give him a shrug just for good measure. "Jake misses ya."

"Yea, I bet." I mumble letting my smile fall and be replaced with a frown. I know Embry's trying to be a friend and get me to confront my problems. But I just want to work out what they are first. Isn't the first step to recovery is admittance? Right now all I know is that I have fucked up relationships…all because of fucking.

"You can't avoid him for much longer." Embry pushes. I turn my head hearing some of the boys getting a bit rowdier than usual. Turning around I see one of my kids and Embry's squaring off.

"MICAH!" I yell across the playground. All the boys freeze at the sound of my voice; the two culprits both turn and look back at me sheepishly. I wave Micah over with a bored expression on my face. I'm not sure exactly what is said but Micah comes running over blushing.

"I'll deal with Aaron later on." Embry adds. I'm sure that Embry has fixed a hard and disapproving glare on Aaron as he quickly turns and runs off towards the swings. Only the girls and a few younger kids head over there.

"Yes, Miss. Clearwater?" Micah asks with a small pout on his round, russet face.

"Is everything alright?" I ask him, giving him a warm smile. Micah is one of my problem kids; he's sharp as a whip, with a tongue to match and is, without a doubt, a pretty boy. The only problem with Micah is the other boys. The girls love him because he can play the sweet, innocent boy that just makes you want to shower kisses all over him. Note the keyword 'play' and on the other he's a real athlete, knocking down any and every boy easily. He's going to be a real ladies man once he's older; but his mother suffered a stroke leaving the left side of her body paralyzed while his father is starting to slip into the early signs of schizophrenia. Micah can go far and I'm worried that something will hold him up; whether it's the problems with his parents, teasing from his classmates or his occasional problem with authority.

"Aaron said my mom was a retard." Micah admits softly leaning into me.

"Christ." Embry grumbles under his breath, but we both hear him.

"We all know that's not true." I offer up. I can understand Micah's desire to defend his parents because I sure as hell would be ready to do the same. "And _you_ know that you're not supposed to be fighting at school."

"So…in other words…wait until _after_ school?" Micah asks looking up at me with a mischievous grin on his round face. I can't help the laugh that escapes me because the smart ass in me was thinking the same thing.

"Leah." Embry scolds as I wrap an arm around Micah's shoulders.

"Sorry, sorry, sorry." I apologize gathering myself together. "No, you don't get him after school. You just have to find some other way to work this out." I continue feeling myself slowly slip into teacher mode. "I know it's easier said than done. But you're a smart kid and Aaron is too. I don't want to see you two fighting over something like that – and I'll let him know."

Micah seems to accept my ruling for the moment and nods his head in agreement. Releasing him to go back out and play, I frown thinking over how my relationship problems with Jake, doesn't seem so big when compared to all of Micah's problems. Yet, its times like these that remind of why I became a teacher, to help the kids out with their problems and make them feel safe, secure and respected while at school.

"You know you shouldn't laugh at comments like that, right?" Embry adds snapping me out of my thoughts. Looking up at him, I notice a small frown as he watches Micah run towards his friends.

"I couldn't help it. It was funny and he looked so cute saying it." I add.

"Well a lot of the boys have a crush on you. So just be mindful of what behaviors you show that might lead them to believe will impress you." I turn and look at Embry with wide eyes. There's no way, me laughing at Micah's joke would encourage him to start a fight after school. Right? "Hey, I'm only speaking from experience."

"And what's that supposed to mean?"

"Take it from a guy who's done a lotta stupid shit to get you to notice him." Embry admits with a small smirk. "By the way, have you decided on no longer avoiding Jake, yet?" Embry asks before I can open my mouth to question him more. The last thing I need is another obstacle in figuring out my relationship problems. His question catches me off guard because there's a bit of finality to his voice; almost as if my time was up.

"JAKE!" I hear a few of kids scream across the playground. I am absolutely certain that my face pales as Embry takes a moment to laugh at me.

"Time waits for no man." Embry says patting my back comfortingly. Turning around I see Jake get out of, what can only be the Rabbit, but it's hard to tell with the quickly gathering _ocean_ of children. With his huge frame, he easily towers over all of the kids making the kindergartners and 1st graders look like tiny midgets. The girls all squeal and the boys all try to get as close to him as possible, I think it's just to size him up. Jake is more than able to handle the huge mob of admirers but I still find myself being ushered towards them.

"Alright, let's calm down!" Jake says laughing, his eyes filled with so much excitement and love.

Damn him and those eyes. Damn him and his love of children only making me fall for him all over again. Why did he have to come today? Did it really have to be on the day I had recess duty? Isn't this like the longest recess in the history of the world? I groan internally wishing that my feet would stop moving towards him and just go in the other direction. Or maybe that Embry would remove his hands from off my shoulders; as I am certain that he's doing most of the pushing.

"Hey Jake!" Embry calls out behind me. I feel my body tense at how loud his voice is and quickly realize that I am directly in front of him; thus in Jacob's line of sight. Oh shit!

"Hey Embry. Afternoon Leah." Jake greets as he looks up from the kids. I feel my heart begin to beat like a 100 horses' hooves the moment our eyes meet. As hard as I try, I can't fight the goofy grin that grows on my face seeing him after a week long hiatus. The only consolation is that his grin is just as big, if not goofier than my own. It's like being in high school all over again.

There is a chorus of 'oohs' that snap us both out of our thoughts, daydream and lovers' gazing. I feel my entire body begin to heat up as I realize it's the kids. Oh my Gawd, the kids on the playground are oohing at me and Jacob. To add more insult to injury, a chorus of "Leah and Jacob, sitting in a tree" starts and I wish for once that my skin was actually red so that my blush wouldn't be so apparent.

"Miss Clearwater's blushing!" Some little girl yells and laughter erupts.

"Let's just hope marriage comes before that baby carriage." Embry whispers in my ear. Why? Why can't the ground just open up and swallow me? Embry laughs along with the kids as my hands rush to my burning cheeks, trying to cool them down to no avail. Looking down at my feet, I feel even more like a child on a playground being taunted and mocked by her peers.

"So, Jake, do you lo~ove her." A boy asks and even more laughter erupts across the playground. How come kids and animals are always the first to know anything?

"LOOK! JAKE'S BLUSHING TOO!" I feel some relief as the attention is taken off of me and is turned on our dear beloved counselor.

Fortunately, we're both spared anymore embarrassing comments as the bell rings signaling the end of recess. _Saved by the bell. _Taking in a deep breath, I find my resolve and _finally_ look up, ready to get the kids moving back to some semblance of structure and place me back as an authority figure.

"Alright, that's recess. It's time to get back to your classes." I call out and the kids head on back towards the school building. I hurry the stragglers along, all the while feeling a pair of eyes boring into the back of my head. In keeping up with the teenage and immature displays of affections, I continue to ignore Jake's gaze and focus on the kids.

Don't you just hate it when someone else is right? Especially when you're really hoping, wanting, _needing_ and, maybe even, praying that they'll be wrong? That's how I feel right now, sitting at my desk in my empty classroom. The kids are down the hall in their art class leaving me all alone when there's a sexy ass Jacob Black loose in the school. So maybe comparing Jacob to some wild animal is a bit much, but when he fixes me with that dark, lustful – NO! I will not let my mind wander down that dark and dangerous road.

Instead, I try to focus on the papers that I need to grade. Ugh, Ramona…would it kill you to use a period? It's hard to focus on grading papers when they are so horribly written. I know my kids are capable of more than this; it's just easy to pick out the hastily written papers and the ones that actually took time to write, proofread, edit and rewrite their assignment. I frown and sigh deeply making a note of all the kids that I'll need to pay more attention when the next writing assignment comes up.

Hearing a throat clear, I look up to see Principal Ellis standing in the doorway. "Leah, you've got a moment?" Mr. Ellis asks and I nod my head as he walks in. Mr. Ellis is the whole reason I even became a teacher. The man is like 70-ish and looks like the quintessential Native American that photographers search all over for to grace the cover of their magazine or article. I'm not just making it up; it's true. But, Mr. Ellis instilled in me a desire to learn and help my tribe through education and dedication. I quickly get up offering him my desk which he declines by taking my hand and patting it lightly. With his leathery face, dark tanned skin and worn wrinkles he reminds me of my Grandpa Henry.

"What can I do for you, Mr. Ellis?" I ask watching him closely as he sits down in one of the desks. Sitting on the edge of my desk I wait patiently for his answer.

"Are you and Jacob alright?" Mr. Ellis asks out of the blue. "I only ask because I've _heard_ a few rumors," Mr. Ellis begins as my shoulders slump. "I just want to make sure that you're up to still working with him and the kids."

"Of course I am, Mr. Ellis." I break in. I've developed a pretty good rapport with the kids, maybe it's because next to Embry I'm the youngest teacher. But, with Jake being spread so thin between two reservations on a volunteer basis; it was decided that Embry and I would help him in handling the kids and teens in the La Push Tribal School. It's never easy but it's rewarding. The last thing I want is Mr. Ellis to think that I am unable to do my job properly. "What's going on between Jake and I will not interfere with our work." Mr. Ellis smiles up at me confidently and I breathe a sigh of relief. "We both love the kids too much to let a little…disagreement deter us."

"That's exactly what I wanted to hear." Mr. Ellis says standing up and patting me softly on the hand. "The two of you make too good of a pair, not to still be able to work out your problems." Mr. Ellis says as he heads towards the door. "You both have the same values, goals and ideals in life. It's hard now-a-days to find a partner like that; someone who shares so much with yourself. Someone who will not only understand your late nights but can walk you through them." My eyes narrow suspiciously at Mr. Ellis' back as he stands just within the doorframe.

"Uh…thank you, Mr. Ellis." I say, unsure of whether to be appreciative or skeptical of the old man's motives. I find that old people seemed to be obsessed with their younger counterparts getting married or at least hooked up.

"No, dear, there's no need to thank me." Mr. Ellis says before turning around to smile back at me. His eyes as sharp as they've always been since I was in 2nd grade and probably back when my parents were in school too. "Just knowing I can count on you is all the thanks I need. You two are a few of the good ones that haven't fallen short of your goals." My eyes widen as Mr. Ellis' eyes drift over to a person just outside my door and off to the side.

"Hey Lee," Jake greets stepping into the doorframe.

"So, I'll leave you two alone to discuss some matters." Mr. Ellis says before walking away. Oh, that sneaky, adorable, little old man.

"Not busy are you?" Jake asks walking inside my classroom. My heart begins to race again and I only shrug my shoulders resigning myself to my fate. It'd not do to kick Jake out after telling Mr. Ellis that I'd have no problem working with him. Did he plan on that?

"No, come on in. Make yourself comfortable." Immediately regretting the words the moment they pass my lips. In the past, Jake getting comfortable in my classroom meant him sitting on my desk or at least our bodies in very close and intimate proximity.

"I'll try." Jake says with a sigh. I watch in both a mixture of surprise and amusement as Jake tries to squeeze his huge frame into a small 4th graders desk. I chuckle at his attempts, his long legs barely fitting under the desk and the small chair behind him disappearing. Once Jake is comfortable, or at least damn near close, we look at each other and whatever feelings of anxiety I've had about this meeting is gone.

"Comfy?" I tease. He only looks at me letting out a deep breath. "Can you breathe?"

"Barely." He rasps out and we both start laughing.

"Get your fat ass out of there." I order still laughing.

"My ass isn't fat. I can't help that I've got excellent genes." Jake teases back and proceeds to try and get out of the desk. A few hilarious attempts later, Jake is out with some semblance of his pride left and me in tears laughing at his expense.

"So Embry said that Micah and Aaron almost had a confrontation on the playground?" Jake asks. Looking up at him, I notice there is a serious and, yet small, frown on his face. His eyes, however, have a glint of happiness in them. Even though we're getting ready to talk serious for a brief moment, I know that we're cool again. Taking a deep breath I begin to tell Jake my view on the matter from recess.

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A/N: As promised here is the Decision update. W00T! YAY! Two updates in one day! IN ONE SHIFT! HA! And my sis doesn't think I'm productive at work because we IM one another all day. Pfft, now who's laughing? We both are because she's cracking up at a comment I made - but you get the point.

I apologize for the long pause in between updating. I think I've finally gotten over the depression that I was in over my flashdrive. I still have the thing but don't look at it longingly everyday like I used to. Although, I think I may have found a guy who can do a data recovery for me. I'm just not sure if I want him to know that I write smut. Damn my organization based up on story name and chapter updates leaving it easy for someone to cyber stalk me. It's happened before...any guys out there reading this (girls, you too, take heed). ADMITTING that you've cyber stalked someone...its a deal breaker. Don't EVER mention it on a date because you'll not only creep the person out but you'll look like the biggest loser EVER! And this is coming from a girl who just nerd'd out...again because she pre-ordered Fallout: Las Vegas and Fable 3 and can't wait to play.

Btw, if you play either game. Especially, Fable 3 OMFG LOOK ME UP! We can run Albion together! BLACKWATER LOVE! I'm thinking that maybe my new 360 account name. lmao.

But make my day and evening by leaving me a review. I know I haven't responded to all of my reviewers but I think I've worked out a system to get it done. So be honest and say, 'Kei, your updating suxs ass!' or 'Why would you end it there?' or 'Don't you think you're overdo for a pedi?'

To which I will respond with; 'Yes, you are so right. T-T I'm shamed!' and 'Really...because I thought it was a great place to end. I mean...so now what happens? *smiles evilly* Do they make up? Make out?' and 'Yes! OH DEAR GAWD, YES! It's been like 4-weeks since my last pedi and express pedis from Mitchell's Salon...SUCKS SAM'S BALLS! Waste of my money. I deserve to be pampered at $65. Which is why the woman only got a $5 tip out of me. I want my Aussie chick to do my pedis or at least Natasha. T-T Or maybe even the chick with the Team Edward button, so I can tell her how much Edward sucks and Jacob is TEN times the man Edward can ever hope to be!'

^-^ Hehehehe. And there goes not only my SM rant but my pedi rant as well for the day. Thanks for reading!


	7. Gimpy and Admissions

Gimpy and Admissions

**Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters.**

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As I busy myself with straightening up the classroom for the day my mind can't help but wander back to my conversation with Jacob. Neither of us mentioned what happened the last time we saw one another, my impromptu 'run-away bride' act, the surprising 'I love you' or even my postponement or calling off of my wedding with Sam – depending on who you ask. We were both able to go on and talk about the kids that are being counseled right now and trying to look into scholarship for our soon-to-be graduating seniors.

It's weird how Jacob and I are able to carry on so well even though there is obviously something hanging above our heads. I'm sure it's eating him up on the inside as he always wants to talk about anything and everything that is bothering him. Not that there's anything wrong with that but I guess…maybe it's because I overanalyze things just like Jake always says. I put too much thought into most things and wind up going against my –

"You're not ready yet?" Embry calls snapping me out of my thoughts. I turn around to look at him and wind up walking into the edge of one of the kid's desk. Embry chuckles lightly as I hiss and rub the area. "Don't hurt yourself now."

"Don't you ever knock or announce your presence?" I ask with a deep frown as I straighten up the desk and rush over to Gimpy's cage.

"Now why would I do something like that? I love catching you off guard and watching your facial expressions." Embry states with a smile. "You really should consider teaching kindergarten, you're so animated." I roll my eyes and check to make sure that they didn't forget to refill Gimpy's food and water dish.

Gimpy is our class pet, he's a small chinchilla born with a crooked paw. I had stopped in at the only pet shop in Forks trying to find something for the classroom. An animal in the classroom helps teach responsibility, helps bring some peace into the room and makes you stand out as a teacher. But I saw this small, furry, cute, adorable and soft little chinchilla sitting in the corner of the cage. The girl in the pet shop let me hold him and he came to me immediately and began snuggling into my chest. Turns out the little guy had been born with a crooked foot and nobody wanted to buy a crippled pet no matter how cute. After that I knew that the little guy was right for me and my class. Sometimes as kids we sometimes feel as if we don't fit in or feel wanted; nobody's perfect and we all have something that's…not necessarily 'wrong' with us but makes us different and that's okay.

The class took to the little guy right off the bat and agreed upon the name 'Gimpy' since he had that gimp in his walk. That was when I first became a teacher at tribal school three years ago. Since then Gimpy has gotten bigger and stronger thanks to all the love and care that he's received. Every class has loved him and even the kids that have had a hard time sitting down to read are able to manage it when I let Gimpy out of his cage and he free roams around hopping from one lap to another.

I smile as Gimpy hops up to me, his tiny paws pressing against the glass as I reach down and stroke his soft head before giving his ear a soft little tug. Making sure that he's all settled for the night do I turn around and grab my bag before joining Embry outside.

"You ever think of getting Gimp a girlfriend?" Embry asks as I shut my door and we start walking down the hallway. I look up at Embry a bit confused and surprised because I felt certain that he was going to start questioning me about what Jake and I talked about – as I'm sure he knows that the two of us were alone in my classroom.

"No, not really," I admit waving at Junior the school janitor.

"My class keeps talking about it – they think Gimp,"

"Gimp? Since when have you Gimpy been on a nickname basis?" I ask chuckling.

"We've kind of bonded there during the proficiency exams." Embry says with a shrug. Last year some of the kids were nervous about the exam. So to ease their stress and worry I allowed Embry to borrow Gimpy and in true dependable manner he hopped around the room and sat with the more stressed out kids for a while before moving on.

"Why not just get a class pet?" I ask and can't help but giggle at the memory of walking in to Embry's classroom to see him busy grading tests while hugging Gimpy close to him. Gimpy's little grey head resting just underneath Embry's chin and his nose twitching like crazy.

"No guarantee that it'd be like Gimp." Embry says with a matter-of-fact shrug. I can only nod my head because I actually did luck out my crippled chinchilla born with a heart of gold.

"Well anyway this is where I leave you." Embry says with a sigh snapping me out of my thoughts. I'm surprised to find the two of us standing outside the detention room. "I've got detention duty today." Embry explains noticing the confused look upon my face. He begins to laugh as my expression must go from confusion to…what, horror, fright or maybe grim realization? "It won't be that bad." Embry says squeezing my shoulder as if in reassurance. "I'm sure the two of you can manage,"

"Embry!" I snap before he smirks at me. "Why didn't you mention this earlier?" I asked through clenched teeth. I'm convinced at this point that Embry is all a part of some Billy and Rachel conspiracy. Phase 1 of Operation Blackwater: Leave weak, hormonal and recently sexually peaked Leah alone with charming, witty and sexy-as-fuck Jacob. Phase 2: Have charming, witty and sexy-as-fuck Jacob fuck the shit out of Leah. Phase 3: Jacob get Leah pregnant and I'm sure marriage fits in there somewhere but Billy and Rachel seemed to be obsessed with me getting pregnant. Billy wants grandkids but Rachel – I think Rachel just doesn't want to be pregnant by herself.

"You know if you paid more attention to the schedule board in the lounge, you wouldn't keep being blind-sided." Embry says and I pout. I really hate it when he's right. "Now you go, get to work with Jake, be _good_ and you'll have no worries." Embry says grabbing my shoulders, turning me around and pushing me off down the hall.

Reluctantly, I slowly begin to trudge down the hall preparing to face the music. It's one thing to have Jacob in my classroom when the entire building is full of children but to go to his office, where only a handful of people are left and knowing that no one will show up…well, that's a whole different story altogether.

But I boldly, well, not so boldly, but I head over to Jacob's office. Tribal school isn't built like the traditional schools where there are offices inside the building. There is a secretary and principal's office but all other rooms have had to be utilized for the students. Years ago the Bureau of Indian Affairs used to provide the tribe with its teachers. Most of the times these were individuals who wanted to 'save the savages' souls' or experience life on a reservation. As part of reservation rules, in order to work anywhere on the reservation, you had to live in it. So the Bureau built small cottages out in the back of the school. Some still house teachers while a few others have been changed to be used for other purposes – Jake managed to get a cottage.

There's a light drizzle outside but I don't let that bother me as I quickly cut across the playground towards the cottages. I know I should carry an umbrella with me but it rains here so much that you eventually get used to it and besides a little rain ain't never hurt nobody. I knock on the door of the cottage and wait to see if Jacob answers just in case he has someone inside.

As I'm waiting I suddenly hear Maury Povich talking and I look over to see Ms. Gloeckner, the high school history teacher. I can't help but let my eyes narrow as she stands with her door opened just a crack and glares at me. She's the meanest, nastiest and ugliest teacher on the face of the planet! She's old as dirt too. The old hag has never married and was one of the first rounds of teachers that were sent in by the Bureau. She was strong proponent of beating the savage out of us – at least that's what my Dad told me. I grew up on the stories about the false hope and inattention that the Bureau has handed out while on the outside pretending to be a strong supporter.

"You ever think that maybe if you didn't glare at her, she'd probably not glare so hard at you?" Jacob asks breaking into my bitch-stare off with Ms. Gloeckner.

"She's a mean old hag that beat kids." I hiss out never breaking my eye contact.

"Afternoon Ms. Gloeckner," Jacob greets her with a wave. She breaks her hard glare with me – ha! I win, to look at Jacob in mild annoyance before nodding her head and shutting her door. "Are you done gloating?" Jacob asks and I become aware of the self-satisfied and smug look upon my face.

Nodding my head, Jacob welcomes inside and I know he's shaking his head at me. He always does whenever _she_ is involved.

"You know people change, right, Lee?" Jacob asks as I sit flop down into a chair.

"People do but she's not a person." I sneer with my eyes narrowed.

"And this would have nothing to do with that D she gave you on your freshman paper, is it?" Jacob asks knowingly as he sits down at the other side of the table.

"No," I answer curtly with a frown. "But if she wanted a paper based upon old, out-dated lies then she should've said so."

"It was a paper about JFK – not about the conspiracy theories of who assassinated him." Jacob says laughing at me as I begin pulling some of my notes out from the last meeting.

"How can you talk about a man and mention nothing about his death as well?" I ask before I too start laughing. I can admit that my freshman year in high school was just the beginning of my rebellious phase. I did the assignments but always added my own personal twist to all papers. Mrs. Barnes, our Literature teacher, didn't mind but that one bad mark isn't the whole basis for my dislike of my teaching nemesis…it just doesn't tip her up in my eyes.

Jacob and I get to work as in the months we've been apart hasn't just been because of personal reasons. Jacob has been busy with the high school students and in the meantime Embry and I have been helping them pull together their resumes, study for their ACTs and SATs and even look up colleges. It's always nice to know that our work isn't always focused on the problems in life but on the positive as well.

In about two hours, we've accomplished quite a bit as Jacob had brought along a few mock resumes and papers that the future grads had been working on during the first few months of school. I'm even happier to hear that there are even some sophomores and juniors already thinking about going to college and looking into possible extra credit to help them in the pursuit for a degree.

Neither of us bothers to mention anything about Embry being a no-show to this meeting as detention only lasts for an hour. Embry's absence really doesn't occur to me until I'm heading towards my car with Jacob walking right beside me. Suddenly I feel small, self-conscious and awkward; Jacob's body is too warm and now much, much too close. I look up at him from underneath the umbrella he is holding over us. There's a small frown on his face and his eyes are dark – he's thinking. I can't help but wonder if maybe he's starting to realize that it's just the two of us – alone. Is trying to think of something to say? Does he regret making that bold declaration?

We stop beside my car and I'm not sure if he's looking down at me as I find myself looking down at the ground, my hand stuffed into my bag and doing a horrible job of pretending to be looking for my keys. I bite my bottom lip and in frustration with myself because I'm literally at a loss of what to say to him.

Do I tell him 'I love you'?

I'm sorry for spazing out on you and running away?

Do I remind him of the day I caught him skinny –

My thought train is derailed as I feel his arm wrap around my waist and he pulls me into his chest. Somehow I immediately relax against him and wrap an around his waist holding him close. He chuckles at our exchange as I smile into his chest.

"I'm sorry." Jacob apologizes as he kisses the top of my head and I lean back to look up at him in surprise. In that same old, comfortable and Jacob Black fashion his eyes are soft, gentle, understanding and sincere. His apology makes me feel guilty because he hasn't done anything wrong and I've made him feel this way.

"No, don't be." I state shaking my head. "I – I'm the one that should be apologizing." I admit hanging my head in shame and embarrassment. I'm a school teacher and tell my kids all the time that they should apologize when they are wrong and yet I was struggling with it not too long ago.

"But I shouldn't have blurted it out like that – not after what happened." Jacob says with a sigh as he rests his chin on top of my head.

"It was sudden but I shouldn't have run away because of it."

We're both silent for a while possibly both processing the apologies given and received. The combination of Jacob holding me close and the soft pat-pat of the rain hitting the umbrella above us only seem to calm me down more. I think over Seth's words of how I deserve more, deserve better than what Jacob and Sam have given me and my own advice of taking things slow. But I can't deny that I love the way Jacob makes me feel and not only that but the person I become with him around.

"So the wedding's been called off." I state as that is the first real thing that falls from my mouth. I can feel him tense a little and I can hear his brain cranking out explanations, reasons and most of all what it means for 'us'.

"I know," Jacob states. "Harry stopped by and told us." I can't help but chuckle and shake my head thinking about Daddy running to Billy to give him the good news. Daddy hasn't been as forgiving of Sam Uley as I or my mother has been. "What brought that on?"

"I was doing some thinking." I admit with a simple shrug.

"Over-thinking, probably, huh?" Jacob teases as he leans back a little and we look up at one another.

"Just a little bit," I say with a smile holding my right hand with just a little bit of space between my thumb and index finger. "And I realized something."

"And what might that be?" Jacob asks with a raised eyebrow.

"That I love you."

* * *

A/N: So it turns out that ideas from the fired flashdrive are slowly coming back to me. I'm hoping that Wake-up Call will be no exception. I know it's been a while since I've updated but so much has been going on and I'm just trying to clear out the cobwebs of a few ideas in the meantime. But you all know what to do and I'll keep looking for my lost muse.

Missing Muse: Cash reward if found.


	8. The Aftermath

The Aftermath

****

Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Twilight characters...oh, but if I did - the wolves would definitely be getting all of the loving. Not from Bella, screw her!

* * *

I did it; I had just come out and said. I, Leah Michelle Clearwater, came out and told Jacob Ephraim Black that I love him. And what does he do? He freezes up on me. Jacob shuts down on me and has been dead quiet for like the longest two minutes of my life. I know because I can only hold my breath for 45-seconds and I've done it twice so with some seconds in between to catch my breath, mentally beat myself for holding my breath in the first place and for not just snapping Jacob out of this weird fog, haze or whatever he's allowed himself to fall into.

I mean I know I haven't made a complete ass of myself because he said it first. Sure it was in a burst of anger, frustration and possible blue balls but he still said it first thus eliminating any possibility of me making a fool of myself.

His heart is racing but his breathing is still steady and all he's done is look at me. He did that 'searching' thing that he does to see the truth within the person before him. I let out a sigh because as much as I love looking into Jacob's eyes there's only so much a girl can stand. I mean would a –

"Say it again." Jacob says with a huge grin starting to break out over his face.

"Ex-queeze me?" I ask because I was suddenly distracted by that gorgeous smile of his. I know, I know. Bad, Leah, bad, bad Leah for letting Jacob's smile disarm you like that. But really I'd like to see anyone not forget their name with Jacob Black smiling at you or how about when he's standing right in front of you shirtless. It's really hard to look at his face, sometimes, because that is a really nice chest.

"Leah," Jacob calls.

Damnit. I was looking at his chest again.

"Huh?" I breathe out as Jacob chuckles and I feel both his arms wrapped around my waist.

"Say it again." Jacob repeats. "Let me hear you say it again." Jacob says closing his eyes and resting his forehead against mine.

"I love you." I tell him slowly and softly. He doesn't open his eyes but I do feel his hands slide lower, his body pressing into mine and pushing me against the side of my car.

"Again," He repeats and I wrap my arms around his neck.

"I love you, Jacob Black." I repeat again only this time placing a light kiss on his lips between each word.

"That's what I thought you said." Jacob says with a smirk as his eyes finally open.

As we look into each other's eyes all I can do is smile as Jacob leans in and captures my lips. The kiss starts of sweetly and simply enough but, just like all things in life, it quickly turns passionate. Jacob's tongue gently brushes the bottom of my lip before nipping it lightly. With a light moan I, of course, open at his very nice request and find myself completely lost one his tongue touches mine.

He tastes like cherry – cherry Starbursts.

Our tongues begin to caress one another as my hunger for him grows. I know the feeling is mutual as pulls me closer to him, his hands are squeezing my ass cheeks and I find myself fighting the urge and desire to jump up and wrap my legs around his waist.

I'm trying to stay in control but it's hard – hard like his cock that is pressing in my stomach. I'm gasping for air as Jacob breaks our kiss and begins peppering my neck in kisses. I moan as his skilled lips kissing and sucking on the skin of my neck while randomly leaving sensual love bites that have me feeling weak in the knees and wet in my jeans. I feel my self-control starting to slip as Jacob's hands slide up and slip underneath my shirt. The feel of his hands on my bare skin sends an electric current that goes right up my spine and causes me to arch my back.

"I love you, Leah." Jacob says and even though his face is buried in my neck I can still hear the smile in his voice. I smile at him like the Cheshire Cat and open my mouth preparing to return the words back to him but then suddenly there's a deep 'ahem'.

I panic and quickly try to push Jacob back but he's not having it. No, Jacob plays it cool and simply puts a small amount of distance between our bodies while still keeping a firm grip on my hips. I look up at him and blush as I see him giving me a stern look that is clearing screaming, 'don't freak out and run away – again'. Jacob must see my consent because he nods his head, releasing my hips and slowly turns around.

My eyes narrow as I see who it is that has interrupted my heated make-up, make-out moment with Jacob. Embry motherfucking Call.

"Oh, I'm sorry." Embry says with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. "I hope I wasn't interrupting something." Before I can open my mouth to cuss Embry out and send him on his merry way does he walk up towards me and quickly snatches me away from Jacob. My eyes widen in surprise and I look over at Jacob to see him with the same surprised look.

"Let me just borrow her for a quick second." Embry says walking me away. Jacob's eyes narrow for a second at Embry's choice of words but doesn't do anything further as we stop only a few yards away.

"So…I take it you're done avoiding Jake?" Embry asks looking down at me with a hard frown.

"Yes," I state with firm conviction.

Amazing how firm and confident one can become after a kissing a hot guy and I think Embry is thinking the same thing as he chuckles while shaking his head.

"I have no idea what Jake's got but I really need to get me some of it." Embry says before winking at me. I can't help but blush because it's something I've been trying to figure out since I saw Jacob in my psychology course. "Well I hope that you remember your promise – promise to take things slow." Embry clarifies as I look at him confused.

My eyes widen and I groan loudly, falling into Embry's chest.

"I fuckin' hate you." I mumble into his chest as he laughs at me. I hate it when Embry is right, which is quite often, and he remembers shit that I've forgotten.

"No, you don't hate me. You love me and just hate your raging hormones." Embry clarifies patting my back.

"What's going on now?" Jacob asks and I groan again. His voice sounds all deep, husky and sexy-like. I bite my bottom lip because I can just imagine his eyes being dark with lust and that hard-on that was so lovingly dry humping my abdomen is still there just waiting for me.

"Lee's just a little disappointed in herself." Embry explains rubbing my back as I begin to whimper and curse myself for my stupidity. Who the hell swears off sex with Jacob Black? Oh, that's right a complete moron such as Bella Swan and myself.

"Awe, baby, don't be – why are you disappointed in yourself?" Jacob asks. His sweet, kind voice that promises me sitting naked, wrapped up in a blanket while eating chocolate chip ice cream and coupled with my realization that I _just_ compared myself to Bella Swan I give up – literally! My legs give out underneath me and the only thing to keep me from sliding to the wet, gravel below is Embry.

"She swore off sex." Embry says and I can hear the laughter in his voice.

"I DIDN'T swear off sex…just taking it slow – the relationship, not the sex." I clarify finding my fighting spirit back and punching Embry in the chest.

"You two really need to stop sharing secrets with one another." Jacob says with a deep sigh pinching the bridge of his nose.

"Well it looks like my work here is done. You two kids have a good night." Embry says with a smug and self-satisfying grin on his face. My eyes narrow at him as he walks off towards his truck.

"I still hate you, Call." I yell after him as he gets in the truck.

"And I'll always love you too, Lee." Embry yells back as he starts up the truck with that huge grin _still_ on his face and he has the audacity to blow me a kiss.

"I really do fuckin' hate that guy." I tell Jacob looking up at him with a deep frown.

"Sure, sure." Jacob says nodding his head watching as Embry drives away.

Why doesn't anyone believe me when I say that I hate Embry Call?

"So…you're locking up shop on me now?" Jacob asks wrapping a hand around my neck and leads me back to my car.

"Well…I – I'm not just 'locking up shop' on you, per se." I try to explain suddenly feeling foolish. I feel foolish because if it wasn't for Embry I would've wound up back at Jacob's after coming back down from heaven. Embry Call ruins everything!

"You had someone else in mind?" Jacob asks and I can hear the anger and jealousy in his voice.

"No! Not – not like that. It's just that sex seems to ruin everything for me. I was going to try just not – I just want to try taking things slow." I answer with a deep pout because right now the only thing I want to do slow with this man is feel him slide every inch of his glorious dick deep inside of me.

"Okay, take it slow." Jacob repeats slowly as if thinking over the words. "I – we, we can do that…right?" Jacob asks looking down at me. I find myself at a loss of what to tell him. Do I tell the truth or a lie? "It'll just mean sticking to little kisses." Jacob says and leans down to sweetly peck my lips.

That might work.

"And being around lots and lots of people." Jacob adds after some thought. I can only nod my head because an audience means we'd have to mind our P's and Q's.

"So how about," Jacob drawls out snapping me out of my thoughts that had sadly drifted over to my lack of a sex life – again. "Since we're going to do this slow that I should do the proper and customary thing of asking you out." I look up at Jacob with mild surprise.

He's going to ask me out? Jacob Black is going to ask me out on a date? A date-date? Like with dinner, _out_, a movie, _out_, and I'll be picked up where I can get dressed up and maybe wear a little bit of make-up and that cute little black dress that I bought like a year ago and never had a reason to wear and –

"So would you like to go to the bonfire with me, Lee?"

The bonfire? He's asking me to the bonfire?

Jacob must sense my disappointment as he frowns down at me.

"Well where else can we go where there will be a lot of people that will make sure that I don't go for your ass?" Jacob asks. "And really think about it before you speak." Jacob adds just as I'm opening my mouth.

I think it over but…truth is…we've…we've done a lot of things out in 'public' that we probably would've been arrested for. Like the hand job in that seafood restaurant. The time we both got to second base in a movie theater. There was quickie outside the dance club that muggy 4th of July.

"Okay, okay stop thinking about them before you convince me to help you break that promise." Jacob says snapping me out of my thoughts and opening my car door for me.

"Well then I wouldn't hate myself if I could blame you." I say sweetly, batting my eyelashes up at Jacob. He stands regarding me and thinking over what I've just said.

"Yea but then you'd hate me for making you so weak." Jacob says after a few minutes of silence. "So…I'm going to avoid you hating me as much as possible. And on that note you go home and I'll pick you up Friday at six." Jacob says before quickly pecking my lips and walking away.

He's walking away.

Jacob is walking away from me when I'm horny.

I'm horny! And Jacob 'really needs to fuck me' Black is walking away?

With a deep growl of frustration I climb into my car, starting the engine up. Jacob is right, I really, really over think things. If I hadn't over thought my approach in my relationships I'd be riding the best dick this side of the Pacific.

As I drive home I curse my luck, Embry's big mouth and Jacob's stubbornness. I barely acknowledge Seth, sitting on the couch playing a video game, as I stomp upstairs to my room before slamming the door. Quickly undressing I grab my robe and head to the bathroom. If Jacob can hold out then so can I…I'll just cheat a little bit with a lil' help from the Captain I think smugly as he buzzes to life.

* * *

A/N: So here goes another update. I had this for like a week, saved it in my drafts and then completely forgot about it at work. It's like 4am and I'm up because I had a really freaky nightmare that just won't let me go back to sleep. *Shivers* Ugh, I hate that nightmare. Stupid closet monster or whatever it is. But you all know what to do: read, (preferably) review, alert and what have you.


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